Jane Goodall didn't monkey around

 

Jane Goodall died yesterday at age 91. She actually worked with chimpanzees and not monkeys or gorillas (ugly or otherwise). Dian Fossey worked with mountain gorillas and was killed in 1985 in Rwanda by poachers. If you are curious, Birute Galdikas studied orangutans. All three were sometimes called "Leakey's Angels," because they were all mentored by anthropologist Louis Leakey. 

All of these creatures are primates which include monkeys (baboons, capuchins and spider monkeys), apes (gorillas, chimpanzees, orangutans, gibbons and humans), and prosimians (lemurs, tarsiers and lorises).  So all monkeys are primates, but not all primates are monkeys.

So Jane Goodall didn't monkey around, she aped around.

I didn't post any of this on social media since people don't seem to have a sense of humor any more, but the anthropologists probably would have appreciated it.

Chews wisely

 

Once again it is National Chewing Gum Day. And anyone who has ever been around cows know they chew their cud. Cows have multi-chambered stomachs and swallow grass or hay quickly without chewing it. It digests in the first stomach chamber and then the cow regurgitates it and chews it it to break it down before swallow it and sending it off to be digested more. 

Not a pleasant thing to think about but a cow chewing it's cud looks like it is mindlessly chewing gum. Which reminds me of a friend of mine in grade school who apparently didn't chew his food the first time either and brought it up later to chew on. I discovered this when we were out on the playground and I smelled hot dogs (which is what the school lunch was that day) and notice Jim was chewing away. That's when he told me about his weird habit. Grosses me out to this day.

Chew on that one for awhile.

Don't call me Ishmael

 

It is National Coffee Day.  And I personally think every day is National Coffee Day, not because I particularly like the taste, but I like the buzz. I started liking the buzz when I was probably 17 or so and drank this rank coffee in the break room at the Boise Public Library. It was your typical Mr. Coffee brewed crap that sat on the heater all day and developed a nice burnt and bitter taste, but it would get you going.

Later in college I knew where all the closest locations were to grab a cup including vile coffee vending machines that were worse than the old BPL break  room coffee. But it kept me going through many a boring class. I learned to drink coffee black because it was often the quickest way to grab a cup and go. This was all before Starbucks turned coffee fru fru and created a million ways to order it and combine it with sugar and fat laced liquids. The mermaid logo at Starbucks is actually a siren (a mythical sea creature who lured sailors). And of course the name Starbucks is the name of the first mate on Captain Ahab's whaling ship the Pequod in Moby Dick.  Apparently one of the co-founds want to call the coffee chain the Pequod but was overruled by the other co-founders.

I have to agree that Pequod doesn't have the same ring to it as Starbucks. But I am a sophomoric old man when it comes to humor and only think of Pequod as "Pee Quad." Not something you want to think about when you order coffee. 

But a two-tailed siren totally makes sense in a place called Starbucks where pretty much nothing costs less than or close to a buck. Give me a break.

Hunting the ghosting ghosts

 

Ironically National Ghost Hunting Day is the same day as National Hunting and Fishing Day this year. I guess they are trying to kill two birds with one stone.

Drum roll with rim shot.

For the most part, I don't think anyone has a ghost of a chance of bagging a ghost in a ghost hunt. Not sure what you would do with one if you found it. What do you mount on the wall? Or is it more of a catch and release type of hunting?

It is also National Corned Beef Hash day which has nothing to do with anything.

But speaking of random things. I found this at Goodwill yesterday.

I didn't have a clue what it was. I assumed it was a planter.

Turns out it is a two-faced Eleguá.  It's a sacred representation of Eleguá, one of the Orishas (deities/forces of nature) in the Yoruba religion and Santería (Regla de Ocha), Candomblé, and Ifá practice. I didn't know what that meant either when ChatGPT patiently explained it to me. I vaguely knew that Santeria was a religious blend of West African spirituality and Catholicism. It developed in Cuba during the colonial period. I assumed it was like voodoo, but ChatGPT explained they are different religions with different origins and practices.   Voodoo is more of a Haitian thing (and a Bourbon Street thing in New Orleans). 

Regardless, I don't have a clue as to how or why my Elegua ended up in a Goodwill and why I bought it other than it was pretty cheap and was on the shelf with planters, vases and pots. 

It does confirm my theory that Goodwill is very much like Forrest Gumps box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.

On a roll

 

It is National Lobster Day (which is a bit more exciting than National Research Administrator Day).  I assume the lobster PR people (and I am referring to the people who promote eating lobsters, not polishing up their image) want you to eat more lobster. 

Eating lobster has always been one of those things people without money think people with money do all the time. It's right up there with caviar, frog legs and escargot (all things I've been served on a cruise BTW).  Caviar tastes like salty fish eggs (which it is), frog legs do taste like chicken, and once you get past escargots being snails they do taste pretty good (I think it is the garlic and sauce though). Lobster tastes good. But it doesn't taste that good that it is worth boiling a creature alive to eat it.

And why do they boil the poor things alive instead of killing them first? It comes down to bacteria that multiply incredibly quickly when the lobster dies. That bacteria produces toxins.  And cooking after it is dead doesn't necessarily kill those toxins. Lobster flesh also breaks down quickly after they die so cooking them alive keeps the meat firmer and sweeter.

None of these things probably make the lobster feel better about being boiled alive. Studies suggest lobsters may feel pain or at least feel a bit upset that they are being boiled. I'm not sure how the studies "suggest" that but it seems highly probable. Pain isn't just a human joy.

Some places in Switzerland and Italy now have laws requiring lobsters to be stunned (electrically or by chilling them) before boiling. I'm not sure that reduces the lobster anxiety.

Tripping? See you next fall!

 

Technically yesterday was the first day of fall...not the Fall, but the Autumnal Equinox (which ironically falls on September 22 and 23).  But most people glaze over when you say, "Autumnal Equinox" and brighten up when you say, "The fall."  

I imagine most people will glaze over at my less than veiled imagery of the Fall from Grace (when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and committed the original sin). But as AI says, in a broader religious sense the "Fall" can be seen as a separation from the a divine or perfect state, a loss of innocence, or the the consequence of defying a divine command (which some people seem to think is Trump).

Bottom line, the fall makes for pretty cool t-shirt designs whether you get the symbolism or not. As I've said before, I throw the pearls out there, whether you make a necklace out of them is up to you.

I suppose that doesn't mean anything to most people either.

Gimme a break

 

I'm trying to get into the Halloween spirit early this year.  I'd like to say it is an effort to revive dying sales, but since they've never had much of a pulse, I'm going to give up the ghost. 

Regardless I have some fun ghost themed designs.

Speaking of the ghost of Halloween past, here's one of my classic posts from 2006 recounting my Halloween of 1968. I'm the one second from the left in the image below.  My friends and I were going as characters from the Dark Shadows supernatural soap opera popular at the time. I was Barnabas Collins, the main vampire.

Sadly, two of the four people pictured have passed on -- Dave Little and Jim Lonnevik picture on the right.  I don't know what happened to Robert Tullis pictured on the left. He was part of my friend group in grade school and then we lost track of each other in junior high and beyond.  

Oh well, I hope they all rest in peace.

Even pirates get the blues

 

We romanticize pirates like we do many criminals and politicians.  Though lately I've been running across posts on TikTok that trash many famous people in history that we thought of as pretty decent role models like Gandhi and Sister Teresa. They throw Thomas Jefferson and George Washington under the carriage as well. 

I don't imagine anyone truly lives up to an image. We are human after all (which seems to be the universal justification for doing stupid shit).  

But back to pirates.

I have been fascinated with them off and on during my life. Because of my long white beard, I've pictured myself as a pirate.  But the reality is that most pirates were young men in their 20s with a few seasoned sailors or captains in their 30s-40s.  People back then didn't live as long and though they sing about a pirate's life for me in Disneyland, it was a pretty rough life.

Nothing is as it is in your mind.

Or that's all there is.

Even Cowboys Get the Blues

 

"Death is just nature's way of telling you to slow down." 

--Tom Robbins, July 22, 1932 - February 9, 2025

We were driving back home from Bellingham on Sunday along I-5 and we drove by the exit that would take you to La Connor, Washington. I said to my wife, "I wonder if Tom Robbins still lives in La Connor."  Then I asked ChatGPT and it told me that Tom Robbins died on February 9, 2025 at the age of 92 in La conner.

I don't know what shocked me more, that Tom Robbins was dead, he was 92 or that I hadn't heard about it. Because if you were to ask me who my favorite author was I would have immediately told you Tom Robbins. And if you live under a rock, Tom Robbins wrote amazing novels like Another Roadside Attraction, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Jitterbug Perfume and Still Life Woodpecker. He was weird. He was eccentric and he was profound. I wanted to write like him.

I saw Tom Robbins two times in my life. Once he was at a Darrel P. Huston Memorial Writing Award gig at the Blue Moon Tavern in Seattle's U-District. And the other time he was speaking at the University of Washington.  He was my idol. But I never actually met him or spoke with him. I did feel like I knew him well. And his novels spoke to me. 

So finding out he was dead and ancient while I still pictured him holding court at the Blue Moon or banging away on an electric typewriter in La Conner was a major downer. I bought what I believe was his last published book: Tibetan Peach Pie: A True Account of an Imaginative Life. It came out in 2014.  It was a reflection on his life. I read part of it but never finished it. It is somewhere around here. 

I read most of Tom Robbins earlier books in the 1980s. It was a formative time for me. I was searching and wondering and longing for something. And Tom Robbins books spoke to me. I wanted to be like him and pen these amazing stories and ideas. The closest I ever came was persistently writing this blog despite the lack of readers and recognition. Tom Robbins gave me hope. He did it and I knew so could I.

I desperately wanted to sit down and talk with him. I wanted to impress him with my weird wit and own eccentric spirit. I even fantasized that he would stumble on my blog and reach out to me. 

That never happened. I feel as though my writing was one of his scenes on an abandoned Interstate that the world passed by. But still, I believed I had that spark that Tom Robbins would have recognized.

And now he is dead.  And this Cowboy has got the blues.

Free your nuts

 

I realize I've posted this image before. God knows I rarely repeat myself. But every one has Alzheimer's on social media and it is National Peanut Day. So nuts to you.

I saw some video compilations on Tik Tok the other day of squirrels attacking people. It cracked me up. I of course root for the squirrels. Because if you are stupid enough to tease a wild animal with a peanut you deserve the consequences. 

Take your best shot

 

It's National Day of Encouragement!  And you know how I feel about inspirational shit.  Don't get me wrong, I believe everyone should try and do their best, but as Dirty Harry once said, "A man has to know his limitations." Athletics were never my forte. 

I played on the basketball team in 9th grade. Pretty much anyone who tried out made the team, but they then divided you into sub-teams based on your ability. The A team was basically varsity and played in all the regulation games. Then there was the B, C, and D teams. The B and C teams got rotated in if the A team was beating the crap out of the other team. The D team only played in the 5th quarter. I know what you are thinking, there are only four quarters in basketball. They added one for the D team. So when the custodial staff was sweeping the gym and the spectators had dispersed, the D team took the courts and awkwardly threw the ball around.

I pretty much hate basketball to this day.

Oh, and I wrestled one year in junior high as well. I wasn't any better at wrestling than I was at basketball. It wasn't pretty. Fortunately my parents never came to any of my games or matches. 

But I gave it my best shot anyway.

TV Dinner

 

This is a television that was in one of the warehouses across the street from Graceland where they meticulously catalogued all of his shit that frankly should have been taken to Goodwill long ago when he was still alive. Though I am not sure they had Goodwill back in the 1970s or in Tennessee. At the very least they could have just sat it outside the gates with a "Free" sign on it.

Not that anyone likely would have wanted a television that had be shot and more than likely no longer worked. But the bigger question is why did the people working for Elvis at the time keep the television. 

I know enough about Elvis to know logic should not be applied to his behavior or his staff's behavior. I imagine he shot the television and someone scurried in and whisked it off before he came out of his drugged stupor. The rationale for Elvis shooting the television was apparently that Robert Goulet was on some program he was watching and he didn't like Robert Goulet. ChatGPT says Elvis didn't really dislike Robert Goulet, he just came on the television when Elvis was in a mood. Robert Goulet chalked up the story of Elvis shooting the television as being because of his playful personality.

That's crazy talk.

Regardless, I was able to use the image of one of the televisions Elvis shot (apparently there were quite a few) to create this. The "Kill Your TV" image was ironically from a photo of some graffiti I took a photo of when I visited Memphis back in 2018.   

And of course I turned it into a t-shirt. I also promoted that t-shirt on social media today in honor of National TV Dinner Day.  The irony is is that I don't think too many people remember TV dinners or tube TVs anymore.  

Unfortunately, I think it is also true of Elvis.

It is a sad world we live in.

 

Who Sartre'd?

 

Who doesn't like a good fart joke or high-brow existential humor?  Those are rhetorical questions. I have to assume you know who Jean-Paul Sartre is and have a sophomoric sense of humor to get this design? Those two things don't go hand in hand except for people like me. 

Humor is subjective. I've discovered that in my day job. I launched what I thought was a perfectly harmless and funny ad campaign showing zombies mindlessly driving their cars and doing the things we hate like driving in traffic, pumping gas and trying to find parking. The point was to encourage people to go off auto-pilot (pun intended) and take public transit.  But apparently the campaign billboards frighten small children and offend the mindless because I've got lots of complaints. One a couple of days ago suggested who ever came up with the campaign and the one who approved it both be "let go." 

If I wasn't so close to retirement and quite jaded, I probably would care more. But seriously, when was the last time you wrote a company because you thought their ads were stupid? We live in a time when a convicted felon, sexual predator, misogynist, racist, lying narcissist, fascist craps on our country on a daily basis and these people are offended by zombies driving cars?

What is that smell?  

Pizza on earth

 

It is National Cheese Pizza Day.  This isn't the t-shirt design I posted on social media today. This is actually a pizza place in Washington D.C. or at least it was until Trump got in office. He probably drove by it and didn't understand it so sent in the National Guard to rough up the owners.

This is the pizza design I'm hawking today:

I posted it last year for some National pizza day but that was when I was on Zazzle and it never sold. Now that I'm using Printify, I still probably won't sell anything, but you gotta keep putting them out there. I did seel a couple of t-shirts on Printify last week. They were samples for me that I wanted and I only had to pay for the production cost and shipping, not my mark up. 

But still it is a sale.

I don't get much traction on the posts I do every day on Blue Sky, Threads and Facebook. I did get a reaction to a comment I left on a post saying a Newsweek poll showed Newsom was more popular than Trump. I couldn't resist commenting that a turnip was more popular than Trump. For the most part I got a positive response, but there were a couple of Trumpers that tried saying if he wasn't popular how did he get elected and I was living in my own universe.

I do live in my own universe, but it is faulty logic to assume that winning an election makes you the most popular person. It does if you are an asshole and there are more assholes voting than non-assholes. But I didn't think that comment would go over well.

Besides, I should remain neutral if I ever hope to sell a t-shirt.

I don't think most people want a pizza of my mind. 

Belabor Day

 

I've belabored the fact that I repeat myself at times (and increasingly so as I age). I've also belabored the fact that one of the few things I remember from my High School German class is the phrase, "Horen Sie Zu und Wiederholen Sie," which means, "Listen and repeat."

So as I struggle to find new ideas for t-shirt designs I also find myself repeating things, especially as I cycle through the National Day days on the National Day of site. They notoriously repeat the National Day of each year.  And there are only so many humorous designs you can come up with for National Days of when they are stupid things like "National Hotel Employee Day." It doesn't scream t-shirt design.

Not that my attempt to corner the t-shirt market on National Day of t-shirt designs has been successful (another topic I belabor).  But they are sort of unique and you would think the geeks who come up with those days would be all over my t-shirts (or at least all in them).

Today is National Forgiveness Day, National Burnt Ends Day, National Acne Positivity Day, National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day, National Chicken Boy Day and National Pastor's Spouses Day. I've exploited Burnt Ends, No Rhyme Nor Reason, and Chicken Boy. I forgive me for not thinking there is any humor in National Forgiveness Day. Acne Positivity Day and National Pastor's Spouses Day are just too stupid to bother with.  But there is some PR flack proud of themselves for creating them.

National Chicken Boy Day was just random enough for me to appreciate. It's about a giant chicken statue that used to be outside a restaurant. It was known as the "Statue of Liberty of Los Angeles" (which is a stretch). Now is is front of an art director's design studio is exploiting the poor Chicken Boy for publicity.

So I jumped onto the chicken bandwagon with my "Chicken at a crossroads" design. 

Hate to belabor it, but I have no pride or obvious standars.

There's a light

 

I've decided to mix it up and show designs that I've made for events that I didn't create a t-shirt for (especially since I posted about Matchmaker Day last year at this time and you know how I hate to repeat myself).

I hate to repeat myself, but speaking of mixing it up. It's also National Trail Mix Day.

How does this semi-rejected design represent Trail Mix, you ask? They are snacks dressed up and on the trail to a mixer. I hate it when I have to explain everything.  I bet you Vincent Van Gogh didn't have to explain Starry, Starry Night to anyone.  

But then again, he didn't really sell any paintings until after he died. So we have that in common too.

Don't marsh my mallow...er mellow

 

I can't believe I've been on this National blah, blah, day for more than a year now and already have designs to post for the ones that are coming up again.  Like National Toasted Marshmallow Day.  We need s'more designs like that.

It's also National Beach Day. So I dug up this design featuring me on the beach in Isla Mujeres off the coast of Mexico across from Cancun. It was many, many years ago. I had been at a conference in Atlanta and used it as an opportunity to meet some friends who were staying at Isla Mujeres. The island is about five miles long and less than half a mile wide. I flew into Cancun and took a ferry across to Isla Mujeres. I stayed in a hotel above a place called Pizza Rolando which proclaimed that you had televisions in your room. And indeed there was, it was a portable black and white television that was on a shelf in the closet and had no reception if you plugged it in.

It was an interesting trip. My friends were an older couple -- Jerry and Flora (I won't use their real names). Jerry had been in Vietnam and freaked out a bit when we rented a jeep in Cancun and drove to Coba, an ancient Maya site located in dense tropical forests. He was having flashbacks to Vietnam. Jerry and Flora smoked a lot of pot and had brought some into Mexico (which freaked me out). Years later Jerry told me he used the trip to Coba to make a drug deal that helped finance his early retirement. I was freaked out about that too because if it had gone sideways I could have ended up in a Mexican jail without my black and white television. Jerry and Flora have long since vanished from my life.

Oh well, I got a t-shirt design and memories out of the whole experience. Maybe I'll toast a marshmallow to Jerry and Flora and wish them well.

Showing your true colors

 

It is National College Colors Day.  I couldn't resist posting a design I did awhile back in my Teepublic days that got the ire of the people at Notre Dame, the University, not the church.  Of course it was removed by the weasels at Teepublic. So I created an alternative version that was less religious than the Notre Dame football version.

No one at the church as complained about this one. Victor Hugo can't complain because his works are now public domain. And it is not the first time I've messed around with a post about hunch banks. So I'm free to turn it into a t-shirt (which I did). 

I have a hunch it won't be a big seller. But it might ring a bell for a few.

Sanctuary....sanctuary!
 

Out of the box

 

It's National Red Wine Day! And once again I am shilling this Adult Juice Box design. I think it is funny because I think boxed wine is just fine. But it is kind of the moped of wine. It is fun, but you don't want anyone seeing you with it.

Speaking of boxes. I found this intriguing item at Goodwill yesterday.

It's a simple wooden box that is only about 7 inches across. But it is made entirely of wood, including the clasps and the hinges.

So my guess is that is tramp art. Tramp art is a form of folk woodworking that was done in the US from about the 1870s through the 1940s. It was generally created with scrap wood and simple tools. 

This is a bit more refined and simple from your normal tramp art, but that's what I think it is.  I truly appreciate it and hope to flip it on eBay for major bucks.

I'm just a sentimental kind of person that way.

Taking it in the shorts

 

I may buy a pair of these myself. I do like Tiki stuff and Dizgraceland is near and dear to my heart. So these board shorts would make my day. They aren't that expensive actually. I can't vouch for the quality. But how often would I wear them? Once or twice a year, tops, while on vacation. 

Or I could wear them on my commuter train. I'm old enough that people would just think I'm a touch senile and shake their heads sadly. 

They do that anyway, so I might as well be wearing a pair of Trader Tim's.

Here's what the back looks like:

I'll end with that even though it seems a bit short-sighted. 

Every dog has its day

 

It is National Dog Day! And what better way to celebrate it than to buy your dog a mat to go under its dog food dish. This are flying off the virtual shelf as we speak. People (and presumably their dogs) are eating them up.

Not really.  But I can dream.

A-peeling posts

 

It is National Banana Split Day! I actually wanted to create a design based on the Banana Splits, a 1968 Hanna Barbera kid's show. But it is copyright and the last thing I need is for Printify to cancel my account for violating copyright.

I watched the Banana Splits when I was a kid. I even joined their fan club for some reason.  I sent away for a certificate (which has long vanished or else I would sell it on eBay).  And for some reason I can still remember the them song from the show (One banana, two banana, three banana four. Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more."

I also remember the phrase, "Uh oh, Chongo!" which was the signal that an episode of Danger Island was about to start on the Banana Splits.  I couldn't tell you much about what Danger Island was about. I just remember going around the playground yelling, "Uh oh, Chong!"

Memory is an odd thing. I can't remember 90 percent of my passwords but I can remember the theme sone from the Banana Splits.

This was the other design I worked on for National Banana Split Day.  I don't like it as well. I probably wouldn't be caught dead in it personally. But I'm not too proud to try and sell it. 

Uh oh, Chongo!

Fair trade

I found this at Goodwill. It is a Batak Divination Calendar. Until I found and purchased it, I had no idea what a Batak Divination calendar was. These calendars were traditionally consulted by Batak ritual specialists (datu) to determine auspicious and inauspicious days for farming, travel, ceremonies and other important activities. How it ended up in a Goodwill in Western Washington I don't know. Perhaps the former owner consulted the Batak Divination Calendar.

I have listed the Batak Divination Calendar on eBay at a healthy price. I doubt there will be any takers but I'm in no hurry. I kind of enjoy owning a Batak Divination Calendar. At my next part I may figure out how to work it into the conversation. Perhaps something like, "The other day I was consulting my Batak Divination Calendar from Sumatra to figure out a good date for a colonoscopy." Of course I would have to be invited to a party to bring this up and that rarely happens (perhaps because I bring up colonoscopies). 

But being a thrift store archeologist leads me to find cool things like the Batak Divination calendar and use AI to figure out what the hell it is. I have always enjoyed owning curiosities and oddities. I would have been fine working for Ripley and Ripley's Believe it or Not (believe it or not).  I think I am much better looking than Robert Ripley the founder of Ripley's Believe it or Not.

Apparently having braces was something he didn't believe in. But it may have been why he became interested in freakish things and people. They made him look okay in comparison.

Believe, or not.