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Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Hobby hoarse



My entire life, I have dabbled in hobbies but none has ever really stuck. Oh, I suppose you could say Elvis is my hobby. I have a massive collection of Elvis Christmas ornaments that I use to decorate my annual Elvis tree. But it isn't something I do year round.

As a kid I tried collecting stamps for awhile. But I got bored after awhile. And I collected a bunch of stuff related to the Apollo space program around the time Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. It is in a box in a trunk.

My brothers and I build famous monsters of film land models. They, like much of my childhood toys, didn't survive.

I collected antique bottles for a brief time. It was something I did with my dad while he was using his metal detector to discover hidden treasures in ghost towns. I dug up some really cool old bottles. Not sure where they are now.

I collected shot glasses and snow globes from places I traveled for awhile. The shot glasses are packed somewhere and the snow globes dried up.

During later vacations, my wife and I started to collect native American masks and masks carved by indigenous people in Mexico. Some still hang on our walls.

I went through a phase of collecting vintage restaurant ware many years ago before I was married. I'd visit antique malls and thrift stores looking for Homer Laughlin crafted dinner ware and the like. I had cupboards full of the stuff for awhile. Most of it returned to the thrift stores. I do have a pretty good collection of Coronado stuff that we sometimes use on holidays.

I collected troll dolls including a two-headed troll for awhile that lined a shelf at work. I haven't a clue where they are. I have a hunch they ended back at the thrift store, too.

I did have an expensive hobby of collecting guitars for awhile. I think it was because I was searching for one that would improve my guitar playing ability.

I have a ton of Star Wars bubble gum cards somewhere from 1977 when Star Wars first came out. I assumed at the time that they would be worth something. Every now and then I go on eBay to see what they might be worth today and discover that lots of people had the same assumption and they really aren't worth much.

That describes most of my Elvis collection as well (including a limited edition Elvis themed Epiphone guitar).

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

No stopping

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

--The 5 Man Electrical Band



There is something about signs that trigger me.

I was in L.A. last week shooting some ads for my agency. And there were so many signs. One was on the video monitor I was watching the shoot on.


Signs just beg me to challenge authority. Signs are created by petty people to try to control other people. And the irony is that, when there are too many signs with too many words on them, people just ignore them.


I just can't stop myself.




Wednesday, June 05, 2019

Flying monkeys


I saw on Twitter that Trump told world leaders today that the U.S. has the cleanest air and cleanest water in the world because he had been elected. I couldn't help but re-post the claim with a comment that first he had monkeys flying out of his butt.


But of course, CNN reported a poll in which 54 percent of Americans believe Trump will be re-elected. And I read another report that said his administration was working to open up national game reserves and fisheries to hunters and fisherman because there weren't enough places where American's could be introduced to those wonderful past times of killing fish and endangered animals.

I want out of this bizarro universe in which crap like this keeps happening.




Tuesday, June 04, 2019

Tending your own garden


Learn to cultivate your own garden.
--Voltaire
It is largely believed that when Voltaire had his character Candide state, "Learn to cultivate your own garden," he was sending the message that people need to mind their own business.

Or that is what I like to think he meant.

It is the season that I spend most of my free time on weekends cultivating my own garden...literally. Or perhaps more accurately,  I spend most of my free time weeding my own garden, and mowing my own lawn.

It is back breaking work. And my body aches when I'm done. I won't say I ache more at my age, because when I was younger, I didn't put much stock in yard work.

But now, with a family and a home that begs for constant yard work, I accept my fate. Part of it is that I don't seem to be able sit idle at home. I wonder in fact, how I filled my time when I was younger. Now I feel compelled to always be doing something.

Though there is Fortnite. That can easily occupy any time in between projects.

But I digress.

Unfortunately, the world is full of people who want to cultivate everyone's garden. And ironically, they do so while their own garden is choked with weeds. If they only knew how much relief they would feel if they just got back to tending their own garden.

And don't get me started on fertilizer.