Thursday, June 19, 2008

Wane gibbous moon, damn you, wane!

Once again the full moon slinks away into the veiled night sky evoking gibberish out of my brain. For some reason I feel like approaching strangers on the street and asking them if they've seen my Gaboon Viper and then walking away laughing loudly knowing I haven't really lost a Gaboon Viper. I don't even have a Gaboon Viper. Put that in your Hookah and hork it.

See what I mean? I'm channeling Mr. T's jibba jabba.

This is not to say I really mind spouting mindless drivel. It beats small talk about washing my car or my job. Not that my job isn't interesting. The big excitment lately is a raccoon who has taken up residence in a small green space outside of our break room where people mainly go to smoke. They haven't been able to smoke out there since the raccoon moved in and he is pretty militant about cigarettes within 25 feet of him.

There used to be a crow's nest down in a tree in the green space next to the break room, too. But the raccoon apparently raided the nest and ate the baby crows (yes he ate crow) and then fell asleep in the nest.

I get this news vicariously through my staff who sit near windows overlooking the green space. I have an office with a window, but the window looks out on the hallway where people stare at me when they pass as if it was an exhibit at the Reptile House in the zoo. I keep the blinds pulled most of the time. But it doesn't shut out the chatter about the raccoon's movements. And by movements, I mean his or her moving from one place to the next in the green space next to the break room, not his or her's bodily functions. Though those will eventually involve crows as well I would imagine.

That was one classic digression.

Perhaps one day I'll string all of these pearls together and make a necklace.


Snapdragon said...

You ought to live in my neck of the woods where we make stew out of them critters! Top it off with possum gravy and taters! Then your co-workers could smoke in peace.

Time said...

Well there was a going away barbecue for one of our employees today and the raccoon is gone. All I can say is people kept raving about the meat and claiming it tasted like chicken.

And you talk as if you live in Hooterville with Jed Clampett. :)

Snapdragon said...

Part of my charm, I guess :)

Hayden said...

hummm. fell asleep in the crows nest after eating the babies. ??

not buying it.

the crows I've seen would have been tweaking his nether parts long before he'd finished picking his non-existent teeth. crows don't take kindly to critters eating the wee ones.

Karen said...

You ok Tim? :)

Time said...

Apparently this raccoon didn't consult the crow book of etiquette. But he did consult the book of ate-i-quette. There are eye witnesses to the ingestion.

Time said...

I was just temporarily moonstruck.

Plus I have a cold.