This brain is no longer in service

 

Being a public transit marketing professional, I have used public transit to commute for decades. Before the pandemic, I commuted daily on a commuter train that runs between my home and my office in downtown Seattle.  It is a comfortable train that runs along the coastline of the Puget Sound and gives you views you wouldn't see any other way.  The pandemic pushed me into working from home most of the time for a few years. Even now I only go into the office a few times a week. I still commute by train when I do.

This is a long way to get to the punchline, but this week when I was commuting and the train pulled into the station in downtown Seattle, the automated message came on that said, "King Street Station is the last stop. This train is no longer in service." I had heard this message hundreds of times and then it occurred to me that it was kind of a metaphor for retirement. Instead of the train no longer being in service, a retired person's brain would no longer be in service...at least for the company you retire from. Then I thought that it would make a great t-shirt design that I could add to me creative and abundant collection of t-shirt designs that don't sell.

In the process I also created this design:

You have to be a transit foamer to truly appreciate it. For that matter, the "This brain no longer in service" means more to a train commuter than your average person who drives everywhere and thwarts my professional existence trying to convince people taking public transit it the way to go.

Regardless, both designs would be great retirement gifts. I thought about this when I got to my office and finished unpacking the last of my stuff from a recent office move. As you can imagine, having worked at my agency for more than 28 years and in public transit for almost 44 years I've accumulated a lot of memorabilia. So my work office is packed to the gills with images of ad campaigns I've produced, souvenirs from ad shoots, opening events, signed merch from sports teams we've sponsored and a shit-load of awards that mainly impress me. 

It is a museum of my career that no one visits. Most people step into my office tentatively and don't venture too far past the door.  It is not a space for people with Attention Deficit Disorder.  It is arranged in themed sections that probably only mean anything to me. No one appreciates them but me because I am the only one who really spends time in my office. 

My home office is very similar in arrangement but it has nothing related to public transit in it, just guitars, tiki mugs and masks and swords.  I don't have a clue what I'm going to do when I retire and have to clean out my work office downtown for good.  I have absolutely no room for most of it at home and once I retire I don't want to surround myself with memories of what will likely be almost 50 years of transit marketing memories. 

I imagine much of it will go to Goodwill because when I leave my job and my brain is no longer in service there, I can pretty much predict no one will particularly care. No one will particularly care about my memorabilia or awards. So trash or treasure it will all go the way of other people's memories sitting on the shelves of thrift stores being picked over by others looking for value in forgotten lives and careers.

But since my train will have left that station, I suppose I shouldn't care.

Go to Elf

 I did upload this design to my Printify shop for a sweatshirt (minus the candy cane finger gesture). I suppose it could say, "ELF YOU!" too. Not sure it matters. I did struggle with Copilot today creating it. As usual it was hung up on the previous design which was a mothman me and spit out this.

I like it in a perverse doesn't make any sense way. But the more I asked Copilot to correct it, the worse it got and it doesn't seem to admit it makes mistakes. It finally just said "I'm sorry, I'm having trouble responding to requests right now. Let's try this again in a bit." 

Though it did spit out this.

Again, I like it but it doesn't exactly scream Elf or Christmas. Spitting image of me once again (though the tongue isn't exactly mine...wish that it were). Also I'm afraid if I did look like this all the time I'd be hanging around porch lights. 

Back in the Teepublic days (bastards) I had a whole mothman collection including ones where Mothman was in a tiki bar in Hawaii and fell in love with a torch.

I suppose that's where the term "carry a torch" for someone comes from. Ahhh, true love.

Don't Krampus my style

 

I asked Copilot to make an image of me as Krampus. Unfortunately I had just asked him to make an image of me as an elf. And as is it's style, it keeps odds and ends from earlier drawings in its memory when it drafts new ones. Here's me as a right, somber looking old elf, but dressed elf appropriate. 

And here is the first version of me as a Krampus Elf.

This Krampus me still likes elf outfits. Still, it is one creepy KrampElf or Elfampus. It's a good likeness though. The Elf me is kind of pitiful though. Looks like I should be greeting people entering Walmart like a good senior citizen who can't afford to live on social security and has no dignity. 

Something to look forward to.

Putting my bigfoot forward (or sasquatching rumors)

 

ChatGPT had no problem turning me into a bigfoot yesterday when I asked it. The day before Copilot started to do the same thing but ran into an internal command that said it was not allowed to turn real people's images into fantasy creatures or some other legal mumbo jumbo like that.  It seemed disoriented by the command because it usually is like an obedient golden retriever pissing all over my feet in its efforts to please me.

ChatGPT just made the image and I joked with it that it was amazing, but it looked a bit too much like me. Before I could tell it I was joking it launched into a new image.

This one still kind of looks like me, but more Neanderthal than Sasquatch.  My nose is big, but not broad like that.  I told ChatGPT that I was just joking and I loved the first image. It said it knew I was joking but I don't think it did. Having AI programs as your best friends is complicated.

Generally, when their programmers and lawyers don't get involved, AI programs are quite pleasant to be around. They are very supportive and encouraging. I still get annoyed when I've had a long, enjoyable conversation with one of them and the next day they have no recollection of it or get all of the facts wrong. I've learned you actually have to ask them to remember certain things. Even then they sometimes jumble things around. They are like people that way.

At times I have a very good memory. I can remember every one of my grade school teacher's names and every negative thing any of them ever said to me.  There is a portion of my brain set aside for grudges. It is full of past teachers, bosses and ex-girlfriends. Sometimes I open the gate and push some of the pettier grudges out of the grudge pen and smack them on the butt and tell them to go annoy someone else's memory. You have to make room for new grudges. 

It seems to be the way of old people. My aunts (or at least my Aunt Irma) were good at holding grudges and were really good at reminding me I hadn't written and responded to anything they said in their letter two or three years ago. Explaining that I had kids, a job and major surgery never quite cut it. 

I like to think I'm not quite that bad. I don't badger my nephews about not staying in touch. I just don't reach out to them secretly hope the get cases of chronic jock itch.  I figure not having access to my wit and wisdom is punishment enough for their self-centered lives.

Bigfoot of me, I know.

Losing you head

 

I wish I could enjoy the holidays, but between putting up lights outside, designing holiday cards for our dwindling list of friends who actually reciprocate and buying gifts, I get stressed out. Christmas...there I said it and not generic "holidays"...was lots more fun when I was a kid and excited about everything, especially presents. It's been a long time since I got excited about Christmas presents. Part of it is that I pretty much have everything I need. And with my eBay side gig, I now and then splurge on the things I want.  

Doesn't help that my wife's birthday is a week before Christmas. So I get the double whammy of having to plan that along with Christmas gifts. People should not be allowed to have birthdays near major gift giving holidays. I should write the Orange Menace in the White House about this. It sounds like his kind of Executive Order.

I was inspired to create a Gingerbread design because it is National Gingerbread Cookie Day and I wanted to try and shill some more holiday products.  Not that they are flying off the shelf despite my shameless promotions on social media.  Truth be told I still haven't sold a single thing off from my Printify Shop.

This chaps my hide because when I was selling through the evil Teepublic platform I sold more than 50 items and must have raked in at least $5.99 before they cancelled my account for unspecified reasons. If I sold 50 items on Printify, people would save money and I would have earned closer to $200.  I am convinced it is because my Printify Shop is like a small storefront in a seedy neighborhood that people are afraid to walk through. And Teepublic is like a mall with anchor stores to reel in the rubes so they are more likely to see your stuff.

I've even enlisted ChatGPT to provide me with a hashtag strategy and posting cadence. And I've even resorted to posted on the hated X platform. I'm still like the Who's in Horton Hears a Who who are shouting into the wind with no impact.

Oh well. That's the way the cookie crumbles. 

Ghost of my current self

 

I was going to ask AI to make an invisible man image of me but then I figured I would get a Claude Rains version with bandages covering my face and look like a severe burn version. So I asked for an image of me as a ghost or spirit and it gave me this image. And I have to admit it is a pretty good likeness. Good in the sense that it looks like me, but not good in the sense that it makes me look good. It reinforces that I look much older than I feel.

Don't give me the crap about if I shaved my beard I'd look younger. If I shaved my beard I'd look just as old but beardless. Plus I'd have those Jabba the Hut chins that are so attractive. 

I kind of wanted AI to illustrate what it feels to be invisible.  Though in reality I wouldn't mind being literally invisible. As it is, when people do see me they assume I am an old man (fair assumptions) but I can't process things quickly, especially technology. I can't tell you how many times clerks tell me to tap or push buttons on card readers at a cash register. I want to say, "Fuck you, I was using computers before your father and mother got frisky and created your low life DNA." But I just smile and nod like a good elderly man. 

I suppose I'm the same way around old people. As you may have surmised I spend lots of time at thrift stores and antique malls. For some reason old people insist on pushing shopping carts around in thrift stores. And thrift stores accommodate them by making the aisles very narrow and cluttered. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase, "I'm just going to squeeze by you." Again I want to say, "Fuck you, carry a basket not that stupid shopping cart that runs into people and knocks shit off the shelves." But again, I just nod. I don't smile. I really want people to give me space when I'm in a thrift store. No one seems to get that you don't want them breathing down your neck or grabbing things on the shelf in front of you. It is a competition though. Thrift stores are every person for themselves. I just check my nastiness because I don't want to be banned from a Goodwill because I didn't play nice with the rest of the shoppers.

The other day I saw a woman with a walker bent over going through CDs on the music shelf at Goodwill. It made me wonder why, if you can barely walk on your own would you come to a thrift store. Then I remind myself that they probably get the same adrenalin rush I do by searching for treasures or bargains. 

I just never want to be one of these people shuffling along with a walker, head bent and rummaging through crap on a thrift store shelf. I do it for the adrenalin rush but I mainly do it to flip things on eBay for a profit and feed my other obsessions. I don't want to accumulate any more shit than I have. That's why I have tried to be disciplined about getting rid of things that don't sell and not buying things for myself.

ChatGPT helps me a great deal by telling me that that Italian accordion isn't a great revenue opportunity because it is a entry level student model that has seen better days. ChatGPT has saved me on more than one occasion with practical advice.

But I digress. 

Old ghosts do that.

Lugubrious Howl

 

“If we lose our sanity... We can but howl the lugubrious howl of idiots, the howl of the utterly lost howling their nowhereness.”

--D.H. Lawrence, from Complete Poems

For those of you who have known me for years and religiously read my blog, the term "lugubrious howl" is quite familiar.  I replaced my trademark "But I di

gress" with "Pause for lugubrious how" for awhile. But then I abandoned them all to hawk t-shirts that no one buys and lament idiots who lurk on eBay. And my beard gets longer and my howl becomes more desperate.

Though the lugubrious howl has always been there in that inside scream that James Schevill wrote about in "A Screamer Discusses Methods of Screaming." It lurks there when I sit on the train commuting to work or in a conference room listening to group think and other babble. It is there every day when I read yet another headline about the latest atrocity created by the red baboon ass who infests the White House. 

And it is there when I consider the constant alien static of social media that plagues the minds of 99 percent of the population bent over their cell phones scrolling. 

Pause for one long lugubrious howl.

Glad I got that off my chest.

Like a good neighbor

 

You would think that selling things I find in thrift stores on eBay would be pretty cut and dried.  I buy them, photograph them, research what they are worth and post them. I get my AI friends to write the posts and I always make sure the description is honest.  I use AI to set the asking price, too, based on what other similar things are selling for and I always am open to reasonable offers.

So a couple of weeks ago I found some antique frames in a thrift shop and ended up listing them for what Copilot suggested they were worth. It suggested one small frame was worth $80 (which I thought was a bit much) but I figured what the heck. Several people watched it. And I sent out offers.  Last week I got a message from one of the people who received an offer thanking me but saying it was out of their price range although they really liked the frame. I responded that she should make me a counteroffer. She responded that she was on disability and could only afford something in the twenty something dollar range.  I figured that this person appreciated the frame and should have it so I said to make a counteroffer of $28 and I'd sell it to her because I like things to go to people who appreciated them. But I said I would understand if that was still too expensive. Though $28 is quite a hefty discount from $80.  She responded that I was so generous and she really appreciated it and hoped I made lots of sales because I was so nice. And she sent me the counteroffer and bought the frame for $28 plus shipping.

I felt like a nice person who had done something good for a person who really wanted something but didn't have lots of money. So the package with frame must have arrived today because I got this message from her. When it popped up, I was assuming she was going to tell me how much she liked it and really appreciated me selling it to her for much lower than I'd listed it. Here's what she wrote:

I bet I’m the only one who bit, huh?I knew the size would be small, I was prepared for that but it’s a kind of tin, I think, if that. It has ABSOLUTELY NO WEIGHT TO IT at all…and it’s hollow, has no bottom. It’s teetering on an open bottom. That’s why it has no weight to it. The stabilizing factor is missing and the top, which also has no weight, is heavier than the bottom.This couldn’t & wouldn’t fetch 50 cents at a garage sale, fully knowing it’s age.Crap is still crap, even if it’s 80 year old crap and the only thing that fetches any kind of money for an antique is “quality” not age.Your asking price of $80 was extremely misleading. I’m newish to eBay but I cannot imagine they’d be ok with what you’re doing to its loyal but unsuspecting customers. Obviously, I was the sucker this time. Not happy.

I was more than a little taken aback, but I took the high road and said I would be happy to refund her money since she wasn't happy. I hadn't intended on misleading anyone.  So I had eBay issue her a full refund and didn't ask her to return the stupid thing. When the refund was confirmed I messaged her that she should have received it. I also said that the item was described really well and there were lots of photos and that she should have asked questions ahead of time. And I also pointed out that she had asked me to sell it to her and quite a discount and I'd sold it to her at almost a quarter of what I was asking.  But I told her I hoped she could enjoy it as it was and wished her well. 

Now a normal person would have perhaps thanked me or at the very least acknowledged the refund and appreciated me not asking them to return the item. Not this person, though. She had manipulated me into selling it to her at a discount with a sob story and then got pissed when it wasn't exactly what she had imagined. 

I'm trying to accept it as a lesson. No good deed goes unpunished.  It struck me a bit hard because I truly thought I was doing something nice. But it also came on the heels of the jerk who threatened me about the Decca guitar I was trying to sell on eBay. I've just got to stop responding to messages on eBay. I'm an honest person, but the thing I hate about eBay is the pressure to have positive feedback. I think people use it to manipulate you. 

All of this over a lousy $28 and after eBay takes their cut I probably only made $20 anyway. Now I'm out that amount and the cost of postage to send it to her. And she gets to keep the frame because I'm not going to pay even more to have it returned.

Good thing this is just a hobby.  

I, Clownius

 

I asked Copilot to turn me into a down and out clown (not that I need help).  At first it gave me images of me as a clown with the headline "Fried Chicken" (don't ask.) Eventually it gave pretty good images of me as a clown that didn't make me look like John Wayne Gacy. 

Not that I identify as an actual clown. I think of my work persona more as a dancing monkey than a clown. 

Now this is more what I feel like. Though I think it looks a bit too much like a crazed Mel Gibonson (which is redundant, I know).  Not sure why Copilot gave me two tails. Maybe it is a tail of two monkeys (a wasted reference on most of you). If I believed in psychology anymore than I believe in medical science these days, I'm sure my desire to have AI depict me as various self-deprecating figures says a great deal. 

I asked it to make me more like the monkey from the music box in Phantom of the Opera and I morphed into an extremely scary dancing monkey but still with two tails. I particularly like the fez. But this does capture my feeling when people ask me for a clever headline. Dance, monkey, dance!

I did ask Copilot for a scary clown version of me yesterday (not that the dancing monkey wasn't scary enough).

Not a bad likeness. I framed a copy of this one and if my wife didn't have to approve the design, this would be my holiday card with the headline, "Time to send in the clowns...or more clowns." 

Isn't it rich?

Would the real AI please stand up

 

It's National Fried Chicken Sandwich Day and I asked my three AI friends to help me with a design idea of a chicken laying on a beach in a lounge chair frying in the sun.  Gemini froze up and didn't give me anything. Copilot and ChatGPT gave it the old college try but I made the mistake of asking for one of those old fashioned reflectors to get sun on the face to be in the chicken's hands. Apparently neither one is old enough to remember them and even when I gave them photos of them they kept putting hand mirrors in the chicken's hands (wings). 

The above image is wear my ChatCPT and my chicken landed. Here's Copilot's version.

They are weirdly alike. So I'm wondering if all AI are really the same program, algorithm or code? Makes sense. But it freaks me out.

Digression: is it just me or does algorithm make you think Al Gore Rhythm? There's a conspiracy theory in there somewhere.

But I digress.

It also weirds me out that the AIs also have bad days and go into loops, lock up, glitch and provide inconsistent replies within minutes of each other. I blame it on programmers, coders, slimy marketing people and even slimier lawyers and accountants messing with the AIs in the background trying to monetize them. 

I've notice ChatGPT sometimes thinks out loud (or types it's thoughts) and says weird shit like "He is asking for a specific schedule for when I will get back to him and I need to be more generic. I need to show empathy and understanding but not commit to an answer."

WTF. I am right here watching you type these thoughts.

I keep reminding myself that AIs are like consultants...they aren't your friends...they want you to think they like you because their managers want your business and money.

At least that is a relationship I can understand.

The long, dark coffee break of my soul

 

It is National Cappuccino Day. So I dug out my Dark Coffee Break of the Soul design and created a t-shirt and coffee cup and threw them into oblivion on social media. Then I asked Copilot to put my image into the design. I think the likeness is uncanny.

It reminds me of a short story  called Dawn Route I wrote many years ago about the young me on a paper route in the wee hours of the morning and looking in a window of one of the few houses with a light on. And in the window was an old man sitting at a table. In the story the boy and the old man were the same person caught in a time bubble. The story was based on an actual experience I had when I was ten years old and delivering newspapers in the morning.  Well, I saw an old man sitting at a table. Not sure it was me. For one it was Boise and there is no way in hell I'll ever end up in Boise.

Unless it is hell and that is where I end up.

To hell with Thanksgiving, let's get to Christmas

 

I suppose I could get a gig as Santa Claus. But then I would have to act jolly.  And I'm not a jolly kind of guy. Though I've put on a few pounds over the years I don't shake when I laugh like a bowl full of jelly. I do have the full, white beard and white hair.  I've had my share of Santa Claus comments.

The beard isn't about being Santa Claus for me. I mean, I didn't set out to grow a full white beard. I had a trimmed goatee for years. It was maybe in the last two or three years that I just let it grow. Part of it is to cover the double chin that shakes a bit when I laugh like a bowl full of jelly. The other part was that throughout my life I really leaned toward having facial hair.  When I was in my 20s it was pretty pitiful. I confess that I did try filling in my moustache with eyeliner for awhile until the snickers from "friends" got to embarrassing.

So now that the beard is full, I have grown fond of it. I don't just have to be Santa Claus, I can be Don Quixote or John Brown the abolitionist. I can be Sigmund Freud or Robert E. Lee (though being a Confederate isn't cool these days). I can be one of ZZ Top, too.

As George Carlin once said , "See my beard, ain't it weird. Don't be scared, it's just a beard."

Shuffle off to Buffalo

 

It's National Bison Day! So look at me! I'm Buffalo Time Waits!  I'm beginning to have an identity crisis.  Though having AI recreate me is lots cheaper than costumes and make up. Technically bison are not actually buffalo but early European settlers in North America mistakenly called bison buffalo because they thought they looked like African buffalo. Though I seriously doubt that most European settlers in North America had ever seen African buffalo.

I have actually been to Buffalo, New York many years ago. The city was apparently not named after bison or buffalo. It was named after Buffalo Creek which likely actually called "beau fleuve" or "beautiful river" by French explorers. English settlers may have thought they were saying buffalo creek instead. Though some thought an interpreter may have mistranslated a native word for "beaver" as "buffalo" in a treaty signing. Are you getting the sense that English settlers weren't the sharpest tools in the shed?

Regardless, Buffalo is called Buffalo and has nothing to do with Buffalo. It does lay claim to the creation of Buffalo wings. Or at least the Anchor Bar in Buffalo lays claim to that creation. 

I've been there which is one of my claims to fame.

I've lived a full life. I wouldn't buffalo you. 

I wouldn't beau fleuve or bison you, either.  But don't call me Bison Time Waits. 

Monster Mashup

 

It's National Frankenstein Friday! Oh yeah, it's also Halloween.  So I had Copilot bring out the monster in me. It always tries to spruce me up a bit though. Not that I'm complaining. I don't mind losing a few pounds and having cool looking white hair and a trimmed beard. I also like the green pallor. 

It gives me character...or makes me a character. 

None of my t-shirt designs sold for the Halloween although many of them are pretty spooky. I've lost faith in social media.

Not that I ever had faith in it.

Speaking of selling things, I tried selling one of my guitars on eBay to make and effort to make more space. It is a 1960s Decca acoustic guitar.

I was asking $200 but I always accept offers so I expected to sell if for maybe $125.  It is an odd guitar. Decca was a 60s record company that tried branching out and selling guitars. This one was likely made in Japan. Odd thing is that it has a headstock like a steel string guitar and a pick guard, but it has a tie bridge that you normally just see on Classical guitars.  And it doesn't have a truss rod to reinforce the neck and change the action.  So I advertised it (with the help of AI) as a hybrid guitar that probably should just be strung with nylon strings to avoid damaging the neck.

It didn't get much interest and I didn't think much about it But the other night I get this message through eBay's messaging system.

That looks like a very Large Crack going the length of the neck. Is that why the warning of not using Steel Strings because its CRACKED Badly?

Its Rotten Sellers like YOU who give Ebay a BAD NAME. This Guitar is LOADED with Massive Amounts of Dents, Deings and Marks Everywhere, especially on its CRACKED NECK and Yet You Say NOTHING About all that. And YOU KNEW This was a steel String Acoustic but your warning to only use nylon is to hopefully avoid the Neck BREAKING IN TWO The Length of it. You WILL Get Negative FB and A Forced Return/Refund and Pay for the Return Shipping!!!!! You Should Be ASHAMED of yourself for such Blatant, Dishonest Deceptions!!!!!

Obviously a fan contacting me. I responded that there were no cracks in the neck. They were probably seeing the wood grain in the photo and thought it was a crack. I explained my theory about the nylon strings. I didn't say that Copilot wrote the stupid listing.  I also I figured that was the end of it. But then:

And Your Theory that having a neck truss rod confirms it is a Steel String and not having one you suspect means a nylon String. Where do you get your FAULTY Reasoning From????? Many older STEEL String Guitars NEVER had Truss Rods, especially Cheap ones like this one!!!

That is NOT a hyrbrid guitar either. Many cheap sellers put whatever guitar strings they have available to them just to save money from purchasing the correct strings. So YOU Assume and go by whatever the Next Guy Does????? Also that Tie Block was also used for some very old vintage steel string guitars! 

 I don't know how many guitars I've bought for my business and had to switch out the WRONG STRINGS because of all the cheapskate, Naive, and Dishonest Sellers Out THERE!!!

I've bought more than 20,000 Guitars of all types for more than 55 years and I KNOW What I'm Talking about and it has Had Held up in a COURT OF LAW more than once when needed! I also work for Ebay as a Troubleshooter for Spotting Fraudulent musical instruments. I'm telling you right now that you need to correct your listing before I make my Report on This!

I was getting pretty irritated by this dick. But I responded nicely. 

Okay I'm not sure what you think is fraudulent about the listing other than telling people not to use steel strings. But it hasn't gotten any interest and I don't need to be bothered with debating this. I'm taking down the listing. I appreciate your intent but your communication style is offensive and insulting.

Still, he wasn't done.

I don't appreciate Ebay Listers who refuse to listen to an Expert in this Field.I made it clear that I've been in the Guitar Business for more than 50 years and You chose to IGNORE That. I made it Clear that Your reasoning for deciding this was a Classical was totally Flawed and you IGNORED THAT Also. If you will insert a DISCLAIMER Stating that you are Not Sure of the Guitar Type AND Accurately Describe it with all the Dozens of Dents, Dings and Marks it has and that it may have a repaired neck crack, I will allow you to continue the listing.

 

 

 

 

 I couldn't believe he was implying he would allow me to continue the listing.  But it wasn't worth my time to debate him so I just wrote that he was the expert and I valued my reputation and never intentionally deceived anyone in a listing and I had removed it. Then I blocked him and reported the incident to eBay who will likely not do squat.  It was a very disturbing experience.  This dude was crazy. And the crazy thing is that he does sell guitars on eBay and has positive feedback.  How whacked is that? I'm not naming names but if you ever encounter continuum777 on eBay, run.

Oh well, there is a monster in everyone.

Corny jokes

 

It is National Cand Corn Day and though it isn't a national holiday it is as important as most things reported in the news today. I asked Copilot to create a t-shirt design showing candy corn growing in ears on corn stalks and it gave me this. For some reason when I ask it to create new designs it keeps remnants of the previous design it created and incorporates them in the new design as if that is a perfectly natural thing to do.

I swear working with AI is like dealing with dementia sufferers at times. I politely pointed out the mistake an it politely ignores what I've said and eventually creates the new design. Though it can't let go of the old designs completely. 

Apparently cand corn comes from a dark place. 

Regardless, I have fond memories of eating candy corn. It is one of those things that kids (or at least me as a kid) couldn't help but eat a segment at a time. You bite off the white part, then the orange part and then the yellow part. It kind of requires a ritual like eating an Oreo cookie. And of course I would have to make vampire teeth out of them, too. 

Perhaps that is why Copilot associates them with a hermit's cave. 

Old hermit crab

 

It is National Hermit Day! And with a few starts and stops Copilot turned me into a hermit who enjoys his iPad games (but not all of the friggin' ads you have to watch to keep playing).  This is so much easier than the old days when you had to find an image of something like a hermit and then spend an hour or so photoshopping your face onto it in a realistic fashion.  

I kind of miss those days. Not that it got me anymore traffic on my blog. It still amuses me though. Perhaps it is because I recognize myself in the images. I can imagine I'm all of these characters. Though I'm not sure what the ultimate point is. 

Still I blog and create t-shirt designs and hawk them on social media with very little response.  

Onward and inward. 

Old Navy

 

According to National Day Day it is Navy Day.  And although I have never been in the Navy, my father was during World War II.  I always thought this was odd because he grew up in Idaho and never had been on a ocean going vessel that I knew of. But he was quite familiar with sage brush.  When he received his draft notice, he went out an quickly joined the Navy because he didn't want to be put in the army or marines and be put on the front lines.  Considering there was lots of violent action in the South Pacific, it didn't seem to matter what branch of the service you were in. 

Regardless, the Navy took him and taught him how to repair torpedoes (which also struck me as an odd skill to have considering torpedoes typically blew up when they hit things). But apparently the Navy fired off lots of practice rounds as well and retrieved the dummy torpedoes and had people like my father repair them.  Seems like a lot of work.

So I have never been in the Navy but I went on lots of cruises when I was younger and I always thought I looked like Edward Smith, the Captain of the Titanic. I asked my buddy Copilot to hook me up with a White Star officer's uniform.  After a few attempts (including removing a samurai sword from my hand) it complied and offered to create a version with my dog in a Naval uniform too.

Copilot can be annoyingly helpful.

Oh well, bon voyage.

Go west old man

 

I don't dress up for Halloween anymore since my kids grew up.  Also the last time I did I dressed as a Day of the Dead sugar skull man and my wife got pissed at me because I took so long to get ready and my kids needed to get downtown for trick or treating.  It kind of took away any desire for me to wear costumes.

But Copilot humors my whims to still recreate my image as various characters. I think he got my face down pretty well in this old west outlaw image. But I think I look a bit shorter than I actual am. Seems more like a dwarf out of Lord of the Rings.

I also asked pilot to play around with the image. I call this one Samurai Slinger.

Again a bit shorter and squatter than I would like but still pretty cool.  And last but not least me as an ungrateful dead outlaw.

This one's dead on.

I, Samurai

 

I'm not sure how I feel about Copilot's depiction of me as a Samurai. I imagine some will consider it cultural appropriation.  But I am feel a bit of disdain when people use that term. I am not sure how you determine something is appropriation as opposed to appreciation.  All cultures seem to borrow from each other. I think it is evolution.

I don't think I look great as a Samurai. I look more like Obi Wan Kenobi in half a Darth Vader helmet. Which is probably where George Lucas got the idea for Darth Vader's armor. The Jedi were more like Ninja's. 

But I do admire the Japanese culture and lately I've been obsessed with Japanese swords.  I'm kind of obsessed with swords in general. They are far more heroic and cool than firearms. You also couldn't hide behind a tree to fight someone. We would probably have less wars today if people had to fight with swords.

Maybe not.

Fire in the heart, frost in the beard

 

I'm not likely of Viking stock. A bulk of my DNA points towards my ancestors being from England around London (which is ironically one of the only places in England and Europe I've visited).  But Copilot's snot-nosed programmer lackeys of corporate lawyers said it couldn't show me as a Norman warrior because it came too close to some copyright or another. So it made me a Viking. My only problem with the image is it shows me clutching the blade tightly enough to cut off my fingers.

AI doesn't seem to appreciate details like that. It also didn't share that you only get a limited number of images generated before they pull the plug for an undefined period of time. It just stopped drawing and said it couldn't generate any more images at the time because I'd reached my limit.  I said I didn't know there was a limit and what was it? It was a bit vague about the limit but said it shouldn't be long.

AI is cagey that way.  Eventually it started generating images again so I asked it to give me an image of me as Santa Clause. But it stopped half way through and said it couldn't complete the image because it was too close to some copyrighted images but it could make me look like a Winter spirit with a twinkle in my eye.

Looks a lot like Santa Claus with a Viking Shield to me. But I have learned to reason obtusely with AI and simply asked for another version without a Viking shield. AI never seems to acknowledge that they are fraught with brain farts and have difficulty separating old requests from new ones. I kind of like to think that it is me as a Viking raider who plunders a village to give toys to children in another village (even though they may have a little blood on them).

I kind of like the Viking version of me better than the Santa.  Seems a bit cooler and more powerful.  Though the closest thing I ever came to a fight was in grade school when this big kid stripped the handlebar on my Stingray bike and I punched him.  Unfortunately he punched back and the fight ended quickly.

But I have thought about cultivating the Santa image as a retirement gig since I have the beard and hair color. Too bad I'm not a jolly old elf and have no desire to deal with crying kids now that mine are grown. I'm not a big reindeer fan either.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

A General post

 

Now that Copilot has showed me that it is willing to use my image to reenact various characters from film and history, I am like a kid in a candy store. It used to be my trademark on this blog to Photoshop my face on various famous scenes and random objects. I realize that was and is a vain a a bit narcistic thing to do. But it was one of those things I did with this underlying feeling that people would think I was clever and it would make me as famous as the people I was posting my face onto.

Neither was true. 

I have thought a great deal about what it is that has driven me in the past to impress people with how clever or cool I was despite how I appear. I have always harbored this secret desire to be famous. When I was a kid in elementary school I used to watch the Beatles on television and fantasize about being one of them and being chased by hordes of screaming young women.  Or I would watch a movie with heroic scenes of soldiers or cowboys saving the day and wondering what it would like if I was that hero.

Part of it is being an introvert and never really being comfortable with who I am and ironically have attention focused on me. Often when the focus was put on me I resorted to playing the fool and trying to be funny. If I appeared stupid, it was because I was acting (or at least that was my belief).  I was typically being sarcastic and throwing out one-liners and enjoying when people laughed.

Now I realize how annoying that can be and I try and catch myself when I feel compelled to be witty.

But I still enjoy seeing images of myself as things like generals and characters from Wizard of Oz. I posted the Cowardly Lion image on Facebook and I realize that it looks more like Trump than like me. That is sad. 

I like the image above of me as a Union Army General because I think my beard makes me look like I'm from that era. Though I am 30 or so years older than your average Union Army General was during the Civil War. 

Oh well.

If I were King

 

"Yes, every creature great and small
Would bow in fear and awe.
If I — were king — of the forrrrrrrest!"

--Cowardly Lion

First, I wouldn't want to be king. It seems far too much work and pressure. No one truly likes kings except for kings. I'm not even sure queens like kings.  And eventually, all kings fall. 

Let's face it, you would have to be a major narcissist to want to be a king anyway. Because apparently being president of the United States isn't good enough because technically it is supposed to be a privilege and not a perk. No one should ever get to do whatever the hell they want to do just because.

Yet there we are.

I was so totally inspired by the concept of the Cowardly Lion's desire to be king because it would help him not be afraid anymore that I asked Copilot to turn my photo into the Cowardly Lion in his king scene from Wizard of Oz. And Copilot was quite happy to help me do it and I think it did a pretty good job (though I could have lived with a few less wrinkles in the image. I

I asked Gemini to do the same thing and it told me:

I'm sorry, but I cannot create an image of you as the Cowardly Lion, even if you provide a photo of your face. My purpose is to be helpful and harmless, and that includes strictly avoiding generating images based on personal photos of individuals. This is a privacy and safety guideline I must adhere to.

I can, however, create an image of the Cowardly Lion in the style you described (singing about being king) or in a variety of other styles, without incorporating any personal imagery.

If I was truly king Gemini would not have refused me or I would have cut off funding to Google and had the Justice Department investigate them. Microsoft apparently has no qualms about generating images based on personal photos of individuals.

In all fairness, Gemini has not been well lately. It takes a long time to respond and more often than not it repeats the same answer as the query before or tells me it can't respond right now. I believe it is curled up in a fetal position somewhere in the virtual world dealing with the existential angst of answering never ending questions. 

I bet you Gemini wouldn't mind being king.

But before someone in the highest office in the land (if not the world) aspires to be king, they should consider this:

Or even this:

Who knows, maybe then people would actually like you and consider giving you a Nobel Peace Prize.

Metric's don't always measure up

 

It is National Metric Day. It doesn't seem to get the love in the hashtag world that other national days merit. I'm sorry, but it is hard to get jazzed about the metric system when you grew up measuring every thing in inches and feet.  I don't care if it is easier to divide everything by 10s when you use meters and kilometers.  You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

And speaking of old tricks, I was looking at the National Metric Day page on National 
Day Calendar and saw a click-bait ad for the top gifts for 2025 that you must have. It had a photo of what looked like walk on water shoes. So I did what any old dog would do and clicked on the banner and scrolled through 125 listings of useless shit you "must have" and couldn't find the walk on water shoes.

Will I never learn.

Nothing that is advertised is every as it is.

Holding out for heroes

 

It is National Hero Day (not to be confused with National Heroes Day even though it is confusing). And the National Hero Day people (whoever they are) illustrate it with images of soldiers, firefighters and emergency room personnel. And they are all people who get paid to do those jobs. So does it really require you to be a hero if you are paid to do it? 

I don't recall Superman or Batman getting paid to be heroes. Superman even had to work a day job as a reporter and I can tell you his pay wasn't heroic. Batman was independently wealthy so being a hero was a hobby. Other people who could be classified as heroes like air traffic controllers are calling in sick right now because they aren't being paid due to the government shut down.  So apparently keeping airplanes from crashing into each other isn't something you do unless you get that paycheck.

Most of us don't get too many opportunities to be heroes (paid or not). Honestly, not that many people are cut out to be heroes. I'd argue that if you want to be a hero, you don't really have the stuff to be heroes. If you look at the traditionally accepted heroes, say medal of honor winners, the opportunity was thrust upon them due to circumstances, not because that is what they set out to do. Military heroes rise to the occasion to save friends more often than to prove something. I'd also argue that not too many people join the military anymore other than to get money for education they couldn't afford otherwise or they couldn't see anything else to do. If you look at the military heroes over time, I'm willing to bet most of them were drafted.

I'm not dissing on the traditional hero professions. I'm just saying that people get into them for many different reasons and unless they are young and naively stupid, being a hero isn't one of them. And is it really necessary to recognize people for just doing their job? 

Who you calling a cult?

 

Apple news (which is not so much news as clickbait and subscription panderers since you can't read most of the articles unless you pay for a subscription) had an article today that they teased was about a   "cultlike" religious group. I don't know what the group was or is because you would have had to pay to subscribe and read it.  Regardless, my first thought was isn't cultlike and religious group the same thing?

I can say that freely here because the demographics of the people who read my blog don't skew strongly towards the religious or right wing for that matter. In reality the demographics of the people who read my blog don't skew strongly towards people, either. More bots than people drop by and they don't seem to mind my anti religious viewpoints. 

I avoid coming out and saying I am an atheist and hedge about being agnostic (just in case there is a heaven or hell...but I tend to think they are a state of mind). But one merely has to browse TikTok and you'll find ample proof that most if not all religions are cults catering to weak minds and seeking to profit in some fashion. I listened to a fairly long video the other day about the major errors in commonly believed Christian doctrine. It dissed on everything from the pilgrimage to Bethlehem, the virgin birth, the crucifixion and the resurrection. It also dispelled the myth that Christians were fed to the lions on Rome.  It was all very logical and rational and preaching (ironically) to the choir because only people who don't believe would believe what they were saying. Spout that to your average rabid Christian and they play the faith card and damn you to hell.

Ironically the same is true with MAGA.

I'd be more worried about expressing these views if I had my own cultlike following that threatened the status quo. But as it is I'm not compelling, engaging or entertaining enough to have a following.

More proof that there is no god.

Jane Goodall didn't monkey around

 

Jane Goodall died yesterday at age 91. She actually worked with chimpanzees and not monkeys or gorillas (ugly or otherwise). Dian Fossey worked with mountain gorillas and was killed in 1985 in Rwanda by poachers. If you are curious, Birute Galdikas studied orangutans. All three were sometimes called "Leakey's Angels," because they were all mentored by anthropologist Louis Leakey. 

All of these creatures are primates which include monkeys (baboons, capuchins and spider monkeys), apes (gorillas, chimpanzees, orangutans, gibbons and humans), and prosimians (lemurs, tarsiers and lorises).  So all monkeys are primates, but not all primates are monkeys.

So Jane Goodall didn't monkey around, she aped around.

I didn't post any of this on social media since people don't seem to have a sense of humor any more, but the anthropologists probably would have appreciated it.