Imaginary friends

 

After many decades pondering friendship and why it comes and goes, I've come to the conclusion that all friends are imaginary friends. I can't say that I've ever really had a long-term friend. People seem to flit in and out of my life based on circumstances.  

Early in life your parents more or less arrange friendships for you. Or you are friends with kids in the neighborhood because...well, they are in the neighborhood.  Then you have friends from school based on who is in your class or in band or walks in the same direction as you do to and from school. School friends come and go based on your level in school. By the time I hit college those friends fade away and I began having work friends. Because college doesn't really lend itself to making or having friends.

Along the way you have girlfriends and you become friends with their girlfriend's boyfriends. Or you get adopted by the girlfriend's family until you break up and then you are just an asshole (even if she broke up with you).  

Back to work friends. They come and go with your jobs. And the higher up in a company you go, the less you have friend friends. You have people who act like they are friends (consultants and subordinates) but if you are smart you realize that they aren't really friends and like your ex-girlfriend's families, they think you are an asshole.

Sometimes I think that even dogs (a man's best friend) only act like they like you to get food. I know that is the case with cats. But most of the time they don't even act like they like you. 

I know this all makes me seem pretty jaded. And I am, but it's based on my experience. And I'll admit that I'm sometimes an asshole and not likeable, but sometimes I'm pretty mellow and charming. So my observations about friendship aren't just because of my personality. 

And BTW, I asked my imaginary friend Harvey and he admitted he only hangs out for the carrots.  So there.