There's a light

 

I've decided to mix it up and show designs that I've made for events that I didn't create a t-shirt for (especially since I posted about Matchmaker Day last year at this time and you know how I hate to repeat myself).

I hate to repeat myself, but speaking of mixing it up. It's also National Trail Mix Day.

How does this semi-rejected design represent Trail Mix, you ask? They are snacks dressed up and on the trail to a mixer. I hate it when I have to explain everything.  I bet you Vincent Van Gogh didn't have to explain Starry, Starry Night to anyone.  

But then again, he didn't really sell any paintings until after he died. So we have that in common too.

Don't marsh my mallow...er mellow

 

I can't believe I've been on this National blah, blah, day for more than a year now and already have designs to post for the ones that are coming up again.  Like National Toasted Marshmallow Day.  We need s'more designs like that.

It's also National Beach Day. So I dug up this design featuring me on the beach in Isla Mujeres off the coast of Mexico across from Cancun. It was many, many years ago. I had been at a conference in Atlanta and used it as an opportunity to meet some friends who were staying at Isla Mujeres. The island is about five miles long and less than half a mile wide. I flew into Cancun and took a ferry across to Isla Mujeres. I stayed in a hotel above a place called Pizza Rolando which proclaimed that you had televisions in your room. And indeed there was, it was a portable black and white television that was on a shelf in the closet and had no reception if you plugged it in.

It was an interesting trip. My friends were an older couple -- Jerry and Flora (I won't use their real names). Jerry had been in Vietnam and freaked out a bit when we rented a jeep in Cancun and drove to Coba, an ancient Maya site located in dense tropical forests. He was having flashbacks to Vietnam. Jerry and Flora smoked a lot of pot and had brought some into Mexico (which freaked me out). Years later Jerry told me he used the trip to Coba to make a drug deal that helped finance his early retirement. I was freaked out about that too because if it had gone sideways I could have ended up in a Mexican jail without my black and white television. Jerry and Flora have long since vanished from my life.

Oh well, I got a t-shirt design and memories out of the whole experience. Maybe I'll toast a marshmallow to Jerry and Flora and wish them well.

Showing your true colors

 

It is National College Colors Day.  I couldn't resist posting a design I did awhile back in my Teepublic days that got the ire of the people at Notre Dame, the University, not the church.  Of course it was removed by the weasels at Teepublic. So I created an alternative version that was less religious than the Notre Dame football version.

No one at the church as complained about this one. Victor Hugo can't complain because his works are now public domain. And it is not the first time I've messed around with a post about hunch banks. So I'm free to turn it into a t-shirt (which I did). 

I have a hunch it won't be a big seller. But it might ring a bell for a few.

Sanctuary....sanctuary!
 

Out of the box

 

It's National Red Wine Day! And once again I am shilling this Adult Juice Box design. I think it is funny because I think boxed wine is just fine. But it is kind of the moped of wine. It is fun, but you don't want anyone seeing you with it.

Speaking of boxes. I found this intriguing item at Goodwill yesterday.

It's a simple wooden box that is only about 7 inches across. But it is made entirely of wood, including the clasps and the hinges.

So my guess is that is tramp art. Tramp art is a form of folk woodworking that was done in the US from about the 1870s through the 1940s. It was generally created with scrap wood and simple tools. 

This is a bit more refined and simple from your normal tramp art, but that's what I think it is.  I truly appreciate it and hope to flip it on eBay for major bucks.

I'm just a sentimental kind of person that way.

Taking it in the shorts

 

I may buy a pair of these myself. I do like Tiki stuff and Dizgraceland is near and dear to my heart. So these board shorts would make my day. They aren't that expensive actually. I can't vouch for the quality. But how often would I wear them? Once or twice a year, tops, while on vacation. 

Or I could wear them on my commuter train. I'm old enough that people would just think I'm a touch senile and shake their heads sadly. 

They do that anyway, so I might as well be wearing a pair of Trader Tim's.

Here's what the back looks like:

I'll end with that even though it seems a bit short-sighted. 

Every dog has its day

 

It is National Dog Day! And what better way to celebrate it than to buy your dog a mat to go under its dog food dish. This are flying off the virtual shelf as we speak. People (and presumably their dogs) are eating them up.

Not really.  But I can dream.

A-peeling posts

 

It is National Banana Split Day! I actually wanted to create a design based on the Banana Splits, a 1968 Hanna Barbera kid's show. But it is copyright and the last thing I need is for Printify to cancel my account for violating copyright.

I watched the Banana Splits when I was a kid. I even joined their fan club for some reason.  I sent away for a certificate (which has long vanished or else I would sell it on eBay).  And for some reason I can still remember the them song from the show (One banana, two banana, three banana four. Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more."

I also remember the phrase, "Uh oh, Chongo!" which was the signal that an episode of Danger Island was about to start on the Banana Splits.  I couldn't tell you much about what Danger Island was about. I just remember going around the playground yelling, "Uh oh, Chong!"

Memory is an odd thing. I can't remember 90 percent of my passwords but I can remember the theme sone from the Banana Splits.

This was the other design I worked on for National Banana Split Day.  I don't like it as well. I probably wouldn't be caught dead in it personally. But I'm not too proud to try and sell it. 

Uh oh, Chongo!

Fair trade

I found this at Goodwill. It is a Batak Divination Calendar. Until I found and purchased it, I had no idea what a Batak Divination calendar was. These calendars were traditionally consulted by Batak ritual specialists (datu) to determine auspicious and inauspicious days for farming, travel, ceremonies and other important activities. How it ended up in a Goodwill in Western Washington I don't know. Perhaps the former owner consulted the Batak Divination Calendar.

I have listed the Batak Divination Calendar on eBay at a healthy price. I doubt there will be any takers but I'm in no hurry. I kind of enjoy owning a Batak Divination Calendar. At my next part I may figure out how to work it into the conversation. Perhaps something like, "The other day I was consulting my Batak Divination Calendar from Sumatra to figure out a good date for a colonoscopy." Of course I would have to be invited to a party to bring this up and that rarely happens (perhaps because I bring up colonoscopies). 

But being a thrift store archeologist leads me to find cool things like the Batak Divination calendar and use AI to figure out what the hell it is. I have always enjoyed owning curiosities and oddities. I would have been fine working for Ripley and Ripley's Believe it or Not (believe it or not).  I think I am much better looking than Robert Ripley the founder of Ripley's Believe it or Not.

Apparently having braces was something he didn't believe in. But it may have been why he became interested in freakish things and people. They made him look okay in comparison.

Believe, or not.

Trader Tim

 

I found a Trader Sam's t-shirt when we were in Disneyland a couple of weeks ago. They are kind of hard to find. I didn't actually go to Trader Sam's (the tiki bar at the Disneyland Hotel) but I bought the shirt.  It inspired me to mess with some new designs. Because the reason why I don't sell things is all about me not having the right masthead.

I didn't actually change my store masthead. But I like the Trader's Tim's concept. I may make a shirt because I am a household name and people want to wear shirts that are all about me.

Perhaps that it the crux of the issue about why I don't sell things.

Fly into the light

 

It's National Aviation Day so I dusted off my Rapture Air design and created not only a t-shirt, but a luggage tag as well.

The whole "Jesus is my pilot" came from a sign this guy used to have on his shopping cart that he pushed around campus forty-some years ago when I went to Boise State University. The guy wasn't a student. He was an old dude. Probably the age I am now. But he must have figured a colleg campus was a good place to save sinners.

I figured it would make an interesting tag line for a religious themed airline. I think I originally tried selling the design before Teepublic kicked me to the curb. I don't think I had got around to posting it on Red Bubble before they kicked me to the curb as well.  Regardless, it is now available on my Printify store.  But I'm not overly optimistic that it will be a big seller. My Printify pop up store hasn't been very successful so far. In fact it hasn't been at all successful. 

I'm not sure my lack of success is due to lack of promotion or just a general non-interest in my designs.  I try promoting them on Blue Sky, Instagram, Facebook and Threads but although I've got a few likes here and there, no buyers. 

Maybe I'm not one of the chosen ones. 

Flipping catalogues

 

It is National Mail Order Catalog Day! And to me it represents the inability of people to let go of things that no longer are relevant in the world. I realize some people still like printed things. Clothing catalogues seem to be the most successful. But I don't think they are sustainable. It is so expensive to print and mail catalogs. Why do it when you market can just go to your catalog on their phone or tablet and it costs you a fraction of the price. Plus you can update it quickly and don't get people wanting things from a catalog that is out of date. And they have to go online anyway to order. 

I created a t-shirt anyway because I enjoy irony. If I'm not going to sell any t-shirts I might as well not sell designs I like. It has been the philosophy of my blog for years. I write what I want and readers be damned. It has always worked for me. Helps me avoid being famous and successful.

I am the most successful unsuccessful writer and designer on the Web and proud of it!

When paths cross

 

It's Black Cat Appreciation Day!  I've owned a couple of black cats in my life and both were sweet friends. Not sure how they got a bad rep. But they crossed my path many times and it didn't seem to change my luck substantially. 

But then again I don't believe in luck...good or bad.

On a totally different topic, I picked up a Zushi at an antique store the other day.  And don't feel bad if you have never heard of a Zushi before. Either had I. I'd seen it in a display case a few weeks ago. A zushi is a small ornate cabinet or shrine used to house sacred objects such as Buddhist statues, scrolls or relics.  I was familiar with a home shrine called a butsudan during my brief stint as a Nichoran Shoshu Buddhist many years ago.  It is a larger cabinet you keep in your home to chant to. A zushi is more of a portable, travel version.

My new zushi has a Bishamonten figure in it. He is sort of the Buddhist god of war (which kind of defeats the underlying principle of Buddhism). He is one of the Four Heavenly Kings and is associated with protection from evil, victory in battle and overcoming obstacles and wealth, prosperity and good fortune.

He's no black cat, but I'm hoping he will bring some magic into my aging life.

I have a creamsicle

 

It is National Creamsicle Day and I dreamt up a bicycle made up of creamsicles.  It's a bit more exciting than the design I dreamt up last year.

I didn't sell any of those either. Apparently although there is a National Creamsicle Day, there isn't a big Creamsicle contingent looking for creamsicle merch.

I try drumming up business by posting on Bluesky, Instagram, Facebook and Threads. I get a few likes but no purchases. Kind of sucks. I was kind of hoping I would be successful on Printify and be able to flip off Teepublic and Redbubble. I do spitefully wish they would both go out of business. The thought of the worms who work on their legal teams trying to get another job after practicing t-shirt law.  appeals to me. I can be pretty vindictive.

Good thing I'm not president of the United States or I would be sending the National Guard into Teepublic and Redbubble headquarters and there would be a passel of ex-lawyers slapping mosquitos in a dirty bunk somewhere in Florida.

Down from the Mountain

 

There was something about this photo taken on Space Mountain at Disneyland that seemed very Biblical to me. I removed the images of the other people in the vehicle (including my wife curled up in a fetal position next to me) to emphasize how much I look like Michelangelo's image of god on the Sistine Chapel.

Of course god isn't wearing bifocals in the painting because he probably didn't have good vision benefits like I do at my place of employment. But then again, I suppose the almighty doesn't really need a good HMO or Medicare. 

After going on all of the rides at Disneyland, I am glad I have good benefits. Between the heat, standing in long lines and being jerked around unmercifully because I insist on sticking my hands in the air on roller coasters to prove how brave I am, I can barely walk.

One more day in the Happiest Place on Earth and I think I would be visiting Jehova.

Yahweh, right.
 

Hard to hold a candle to

You can now buy very expensive candles and frisbees from my Printify store. Although they look pretty cool, I'm not convinced too many people will shell out the big bucks for them.

I think the frisbee retails for about $47 which is a bit pricey for something your dog is just going to chew up and spit all over. The candles are only $33. It's still a bit pricey, but they have a spiritual angle to them. People will pay extra to earn points with god.

At least that is my theory. I am just grateful that my survival does not depend upon selling any of this shit...I mean unique merch that will fulfill most people's shallow and baseless lives.

Dizigns of the times

 

I decided that, after being booted from Teepublic and Redbubble, it was time to break away from the pack. And I decided Dizgraceland Records probably wasn't the best name for a shop that doesn't actually sell records. I was too hung up on Disgraceland Records stealing my domain years ago. Just need to let it go.

So I have a shop on Printify now. And I used my AI friends to create a new logo and masthead.

If nothing else, I have yet a set of new logos. So what if I still haven't sold any shirts.

It's a road we all must follow

 

I saw one of those click bait articles pop up the other day about Kristy McNichol with a headline that read something like, "Kristy McNichol made a rare appearance in an LA park and she was unrecognizable."  She is 63, and if you think she'll look like she did at 18 in 1980 when she starred in "Little Darlings" with Tatum O'Neal and Matt Dillon, then yes, she is unrecognizable. But I challenge anyone to be recognizable in their 60s compared to their teens, or 20s or 30s. 

Time is a major bitch and I marvel at people's fascination with pointing out that celebrities haven't aged well. The only thing that ages well is a good red wine and even it goes bad here and there.

It's a primary reason I'm glad I was never famous. No one cares what I look like now because no one cared what I looked like when I was 18. 

When my kids were little I tried showing them my school photos. All they did was laugh and say I looked funny. That put things in perspective.

Though I always got a kick when I saw photos of my parents as kids. Maybe it was because they didn't have a lot of photos of themselves growing up. But still, I didn't laugh and think they looked funny. I thought they were both very good looking people.

But back to Kristy McNichol, she dropped out of the Hollywood scene in the early 2000s saying she was dealing with bipolar disorder and she wanted privacy.  She came out as a lesbian in 2012 which didn't surprise a great deal of people I'm sure. Not that it should matter or be anyone's business. So why should she have to suffer the indignity of the Paparazzi snapping photos of her at aged 63. I don't think she looked bad. She just looked older. 

Not that I think there are a great deal of people who remember her who aren't in their 60s themselves. So I'm not sure what the hypocrisy of pointing out her aging on the Internet. 

I can only take solace in being an old and unknown man. So I am basically invisibile. 

There is something to be said for that.

Bring out your dead

 

Ozzie Osbourn just died. He was 76 years old. He was followed by Malcom-Jamal Warner, age 54, Chuck Mangione, 84, and Hulk Hogan, 71. It's that old myth about famous people dying in threes. But I suppose four can pass on, at the same time, too. I was particularly sad about Ozzie, although I wasn't really a Black Sabbath fan. I used to watch his reality series and marvel at how unintelligible he was. I thought he was older than 76. 

I wasn't a big Cosby Show fan, but Malcom-Jamal Warner seemed like an okay guy. Sad to drown on vacation. Chuck Mangione was one of those New Age Jazz guys from the 80s. I kind of liked his music. Hulk Hogan was a cartoon character to me. I've never really thought much of professional wrestling. You would have thought he was in pretty good shape, but he died of a heart attack. So you never know.

Regardless, I hope they all find peace in wherever you end up after you die.

Have you never been yellow?

 

I cannot believe I missed National Yellow Pig Day yesterday. So many fake holidays, so little fake time. But apparently Yellow Pig Day has nothing to do with yellow pigs anyway. The yellow pig is the random mascot for the number 17. And why is the number 17 important you ask?

• The number 17 is a premium number in the arena of prime numbers. Add the first four prime numbers together, and 17 is their sum.
• The average school bus weighs 17 tons with passengers inside.
• Each of the following words has 17 letters: interdisciplinary telecommunication misinterpretation commercialization electrophotometer
• The atomic number of chlorine is 17.
• Pebble Beach has a specific road known as the 17 Mile Drive along the Monterey Peninsula in California. However, the exact length of the road is 16.78 miles.
• The 17th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution gave the citizens of the United States the right to elect their senators by popular vote. Before the states ratified the amendment on April 8, 1913, each state's' legislature would elect the senators to Congress.

You can't make this shit up. Well, actually you can. Someone did and got the National Days people to buy into it for some reason. 

I don't feel so bad  now about the random shit I write about.

If at first you suck-ceed, try, try again

 

I can't seem to get my design business off the ground no matter what I do.  But I keep trying. I thought I was doing well on Teepublic.com (sold more than 50 items) and they suspended my account for reasons unknown. I tried badgering them on social media to no avail. So I tried Zazzle. But try as I might no one seemed to buy anything. So I opened up an account on Red Bubble even though they are owned by the same company as Teepublic. I spent a lot of time loading tons of the designs I had posted on Teepublic but I was painfully careful not to post anything that seemed like a copyright or intellectual property violation. 

It seemed to be going okay. Not many sales, but I thought it was picking up. I was happily posting design after design when boom. I got a notice that my account was suspended. Can you say déjà vu? Can you say déjà vu?

I tried filing an appeal, but I'm thinking they have the same legal team that Teepublic had and they pretty much said that you can appeal but don't hold your breath and we won't give you any reasons why and if you ask us, your appeal will go the way of your suspended account.

Not to be deterred, I turned to Printify who allows you to create designs and then post them to your Esty store to sell. So slowly but unsurely, that's what I'm trying now.

I've said this time and time again, but I'm not sure why I bother. It is like my blog. It has been more or less unsuccessful for 21 years and I keep plugging along with it. So what's another 20 years trying to sell t-shirt designs that no one wants? 

I just want people to like me and acknowledge how extremely clever and about as close to a genius as they will ever meet. Is that too much to ask?