Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Own the Gold Lame' Skull

You've seen it in Dizgraceland's Strange, Yet True Room. I've seen it hanging on the wall in my family room for much too long. It's starting to get to me. But my indifference to it as a lasting piece of art is your opportunity to own this magnificent, one-of-a-kind treasure that is so unique, I can safely say you'll never find another one.

It is a genuine steer skull straight out of the West (well, Western Washington). It has been spray painted with a high quality black paint. Genuine gold leaf has been painstakingly applied to the skull. It is truly a marvel to behold. The photo doesn't do it justice.

How much do I want for this miracle of folk art that has been featured on Dizgraceland since 1996 and viewed by literally thousands upon thousands of loyal Tim-Elvis fans? How much do I want for a work of art that I created with my very own hands? How much do I want for a piece of my soul that has hund on my wall above my 32-inch television for almost a decade?

Well, you tell me. Make me a reasonable offer and agree to pay a modest shipping handling charge and perhaps you can be the sole possessor of this magical piece of work.

A few disclaimers:

  • The skull is in pretty good condition for a skull, but it is sold as is.
  • I will only ship it to someone in the United States (I don't think there is anything illegal about shipping it out of the country, but I'm not filling out any custom's form that says "dead animal head" on it).
  • This is a full sized steer skull. I'd estimate it is about two-and-a-half feet long with a horn span of about two or two-and-a-half feet. There is no lower jawbone (that's just the way skulls come, the jaws aren't attached and get misplaced). It will cost a bit to pack and ship the skull. I'll let you know actual shipping charges before you commit to buying it.
  • The Native American choker shown in the photo on the steer's forehead is not included (unless you want to buy it too for an additional fee...I made it, too).
  • Serious inquiries only.
  • I prefer PayPal payments, but I'll be willing to accept money orders or cashier's checks. I do not accept cash (well, I will, but not for the skull), beads, trinkets, marbles or I.O.U.'s.
  • Yes, this for real.

So what are you waiting for? E-mail me with an offer to BUY THE GOLD LAME' SKULL!

P.S. If Sally Struthers was here, she say, "Please, please help Tim-Elvis by buying the Gold Lame' Skull, enriching your life and helping him avoid listing it on eBay where they'll eat up any of his profits with listing fees, photo fees, selling fees and generic fees they can charge just because they are eBay. You'll sleep better at night."

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