I don't generally like to talk about my health. I have one "friend" on Facebook who is a couple of years older than me. He had some kind of episode and called an ambulance and then filmed himself being taken to the hospital and posted it on Facebook. That isn't my style. But I did more or less have the weekend from hell that involved a trip to the ER and an overnight stay in the hospital as well as my first blood transfusion.
About a week ago I had a colonoscopy. I won't sugar coat it. You get them at my age. This was my third because they have found and removed polyps before. If you've ever had a colonoscopy, you know the worst part is the prep the night before. You can't eat anything and you have to drink this godawful liquid that basically cleans out your colon so they can clearly seen any problems. I spent my night on the toilet and took solace that I had an early morning procedure and would be able to eat again by mid-morning.
I had the colonoscopy and it seemed to go fine. They did remove a few more polyps and sent them off for a byopsy. I was able to eat and drink again. The byopsy came back that the polyps were benign. My week was more or less normal until last Saturday night. My wife and I were at a local restaurant bar having dinner when I felt my insides churn. I excused myself and went to the men's room. That's when my saga began. I won't get into graphic details but basically a blood vessel under where one of the polyps was removed began bleeding inside my colon and I started losing blood.
We walked home from the restaurant and I finally asked my wife to take me to the ER. I've said before here that I don't like going to doctors or hospitals. Nothing ever good comes from it. The ER seemed slow and I was checked in fairly quickly. I went through the typical triage questions and getting up and down in the waiting room as I sat with the rest of the colorful people who always seem to be at ERs. One guy with a bandana on his head was snoring in a chair before he laid a blanket on the floor and curled up.
My bleeding seemed to have subsided a bit. I was finally taken into the back room where I discovered why the ER seemed so empty. The backroom was full of coughing, puking and moaning people. I wasn't put in a room, I was put on a bed in the hallway and hooked up to heart monitors and a bloodpressure cuff. They took blood. The first of many needles that night. I talked to several ER nurses and Physicians Assistants and finally the ER doctor who said I was likely having a delayed action from the colonoscopy. He said they wanted to watch me for awhile. He said sometimes the bleeding stopped on its own. If it didn't the other options were another colonoscopy to find out where the bleeding was and clip it. If that didn't work there was some obscure radiation surgery that would have to be done. But first I had to have a CAT scan.
It showed there was bleeding in my colon. Duh. Then the blood started flowing big time and I was up and down going to the restroom constantly unclipping and clipping monitor cords. By this time about four hours had passed. They finally found a room in the back ER to move me to. It wasn't much better than the hallway and instead of having access to the men's room I had a plastic commode with a plastic bag to use. At this point all dignity and modesty is gone.
Finally, after a couple of shift changes, they determine that my blood pressure and blood levels were dropping too much and I'd have to have another colonoscopy but there was no type for the typical 8 hour prep and colon cleansing. So they had get the liquid into me that would clear out my bowels quickly. That involved a tube being inserted in my nose to my stomach and squirting 2 liters of the liquid in.
It was a process like none I had ever imagined nor ever want to repeat. Not to pat myself on the back too much, I think I handled it and the couple of hours of liquid being poured through my nose directly to my stomach quite well considering the circumstances. I was then moved to a room in ICU to finish the prep process. It wasn't much better than the ER room and still just had a plastic commode and plastic bag. When the prep liquid started working I was filling up bag after bag with my own blood and trying not to puke as the nose tube pressed against my throat. It was a tense time. On top of that they decided I had lost so much blood I needed a transfusion. Since I had never had one before they had to have me sign a waiver because apparently your body can sometimes reject someone else's blood. Fortunately, mine accepted it.
Finally they took me down for my second colonoscopy in about a week. By that time I had been awake more than 24 hours so being put under for 20 minutes was a blessing. I woke up in what seem like a long narrow hallway used for storage. All of the people involved in the colonoscopy quickly scurried away except for one obnoxious tech who kept telling me to cough while he bitched to a co-worker about him not working in a more responsible position. Apparently he wanted to work in ICU. I laid there just wanting to be taken back to some room and having the nose tube removed. They left it in for some reason and it still hurt like hell.
After about 20 more minutes the ICU said they could bring me back up. I was wheeled through hallways and up elevators and back to the ICU room where they hooked me back up to all of the monitors. I was eventually told that they thought the colonoscopy had successfully clipped off the bleeding but I would need to stay in the hospital for maybe two nights while they observed me. I also couldn't have anything to eat or drink (not that I wanted anything at that point).
To bring a caboose to this train of thought, I stayed in ICU until 3 a.m. Monday morning (remember I had gone to the ER on Saturday night at about 10 p.m.). Then I was moved to a lower floor and a more regular room where they woke me up every couple of hours to take blood and take my blood pressure. Finally, on Monday afternoon I was released and went home where I still need to check my blood pressure because it remains low because of so much blood loss (despite my infusion of someone else's blood).
Thus the reference to True Blood and me becoming an honorary vampire. All of this experience has reinforced why I hate going to doctors and hospitals. You start out feeling fine and you leave with a list of new or potential ailments, real or imagined.
ButI don't have to have another colonoscopy for three years. Lucky me.
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