And so it is almost Christmas...

 

This is the front of a card I made for my daughter.  The inside says, "We think Santa needs to get some new helpers."

And for my son who generally only wants cash for Christmas.

And the inside of the card reads.

Not that he knows who Johnny Cash or Eddie Money are.  But he recognizes Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson.

Merry Christmas everyone.

It's ugly out there

 

We went to the grocery store tonight to pick up food for Christmas dinner. It has been crazy at any store lately because of the frenzy around the holiday. Not sure why it seems worse this year. We waited until after 8 p.m. thinking it would be less busy at the grocery store. 

It wasn't. And the shelves looked like Soviet Union grocery stores in the 1980s. Everything had been picked over and there wasn't much left to choose from 

But the weird thing I noticed was that we picked a time when...how do I put this delicately...none of the beautiful people were shopping. It was ugly out there and I don't mean that metaphorically. Now I realize I was out there shopping so I shouldn't be talking, but it just seemed someone had gone wild with an ugly stick. I felt like we were seriously shopping in the shallow end of the gene pool.

I realize this makes me seem shallow, but it wasn't like we were shopping in a Walmart where you'd expect to see people so ugly that if your dog looked like them you'd shave it's ass and make it walk backward.  This was a QFC in a relatively upscale area.  But I kept thinking I was in a carnival sideshow and Joseph Merrick was going to come limping down the isle lisping, "I am not an animal! I am a man."

Oh well, it is the Christmas season. God rest ye merry gentlemen.

Did I ever tell you you're my gyro?

 I'm up to the "G's" in posting my t-shirt designs on Zazzle. I don't know how many of the 1500 that I had posted on Teepublic are now on Zazzle. But considering I've only sold three, it doesn't really matter. Again, I don't think Zazzle does a lot of marketing to get people to buy your t-shirts. 

I tell you, I'm the Vincent Van Gogh of t-shirts. 

Humbug

 For whatever reason, the National Day Calendar says today is Humbug Day. And while that in itself is pretty much humbug, it did give me an opportunity to reprise my Scrooge and Marley design. Pity I can't turn it into a t-shirt because I am pretty sure the Bob Marley estate wouldn't feel irie about it. And I think I snagged the image of Scrooge off the Internet from a production of "The Christmas Carol" that was being done somewhere.

I asked ChatGPT where the term came from and it was a bit vague. Said it first appeared in the mid-18th century. It could have came from the early English word "Hambug," which meant trickery or fraud. And "hum" apparently used to mean hoax or fraud. And "bug" simply means to be annoying. 

Sounds like a load of humbug to me.

Holiday Newsletter Hell

 I suppose I understand why people write holiday newsletters and stick them in their holiday cards. They want to let all of their close friends and family that they don't see all year and only communicate with once a year through holiday cards what they have been up to all year but they don't want to write it over and over in each card they send out. It makes sense if you think about it that way. But it doesn't make any sense if you step back and think it through. Not everyone gives a rip where you travelled during the year or how smart your children are and what awards they won. 

I hate holiday newsletters. I think they are self-indulgent and narcissistic. We got one today from someone I used to think of as a friend until he and his wife retired and do nothing but travel a good portion of the year. They have no children. He invested in real estate early in his life and both have good retirement benefits. But he retired in his late 50s and both of them do nothing but indulge themselves.

I know having kids isn't for everyone. But some of us made that decision and have responsibilities and things to spend our money on besides trips to the Amazon and three month cruises. Instead of luxury cruises, e have music lessons, computer equipment, clothes, cars, insurance and college to pay for. I didn't retire when I was 55. I will probably not retire until I'm 70, not because I love working. I just want to pay for my kid's college without them going into debt. 

So forgive me if it pisses me off that you went on a Mediterranean cruise and spent time in Spain this year. And I'm sorry if I feel like puking when you say that in between luxury travel you and your wife give back by volunteering with your HOA association. Why do you think any of us care that you have too much discretionary income and are self-centered and self-indulgent. 

I want to write my own newsletter that is simply a full page of nothing but, "This year we blah, blah, blah, and then blah, blah, blah." 

I'm not bitter.

Doing hard time...or at least hard candy

 

Yes, it is National Hard Candy Day.  And hard to believe, but as stupid as that sounds, it is a thing. So you should get a t-shirt to commemorate it. It is much better than National Oatmeal Muffin Day or National Re-Gifting Day.

I actually think Hard Candy would be a sweet name for a band.

What's your favorite color

It's "Answer the phone like Buddy the Elf Day."  So it seems appropriate to post my Creepy Tiki Elf again. I posted an image of him on Blue Sky and the response has been nothing but Blue Sky.  This social media marketing is just so powerful

A blue, blue Christmas

 

If you've been reading my blog religiously for the past 20 years or so then you are familiar with the Elvis tree. It started many, many years ago as a white artificial tree from K-Mart with blue lights and the first part of my Elvis Christmas ornaments. It grew (the ornament collection, not the tree) each year. Eventually the K-mart tree fell apart and I purchased a new one from Walmart. It served me well for many years. 

This year I felt it was time for a change and I purchased a blue artificial tree with pre-lit blue lights  I truly is one of the 12 wonders of the X-mas world.

And of course there is a miniature version of Graceland under the tree.  It is almost as old as the Elvis tree tradition.

Maybe there needs to be an Elvis tree t-shirt. I'll have to work on that.

Herding cats

 

Today is Cat Herders Day. And my Cats Playing Poker design is the closest thing I have to herding cats. But herding cats goes well with this design.

It's what I herd, anyway.

Zing went the strings

 

I finished cleaning up the guitar I've been working on today. I restrung it with nylon Classical guitars strings as the guitar gods intended. And although there is a little string buzz and the bridge seems to have pulled up a bit on the edges, it sounds pretty good for a guitar that was butchered by some hack with five or six screws. 

It seems to be staying relatively in tune and it has a nice tone for a guitar that had all of those holes screwed into it. It's not perfect, but that's what I love about all of my guitars. They are weathered and worn but comfortable and mellow.

Born again guitars

 

I can't stand to see a guitar that has been abused. I don't understand it. When I bought my first really good guitar back when I was 19, I treated it like a baby. I almost cried when I was changing the strings and pulling pins from the bridge with needle nosed pliers and they slipped and dinged the guitar.  I was heartbroken. 

I have acquired many guitars since then and several of them have been pretty badly beat up. I've had cracked necks and some pretty major scrapes and scuffs. But I have just finished with the first part of fixing one that had a super messed up bridge. A guitar bridge is the component on a guitar that anchors the strings to the body and transmits the vibrations of the strings to the guitar's body, enhancing its sound. It also helps control string height (action) and intonation. The bridge typically consists of a base (attached to the guitar body) and a saddle, where the strings rest before stretching to the tuning pegs.

The bridge on this guitar was the worst I'd ever seen. First, it was a classical guitar and some asshole put steel strings on it instead of nylon strings. Classical guitars aren't built for the stress of steel strings. So the bridge started pulling up from the guitar body. And someone, I assume it was the same asshole who put steel strings on it, tried to fix the bridge by putting multiple screws in it in an attempt to hold it on the guitar. It made it worse. 

I asked ChatGPT how to replace a classical guitar bridge and I'll be damned if it didn't give me step by step instructions. I removed the old bridge and did my best to fill the multiple screw holes. Then I bought a new bridge on Amazon as well as a bridge clamp and glue designed for wood instruments. I also picked up some new tuning keys while I was at it. 

Bridges and tuning keys are much more readily available and cheaper than I imagined. I prepped and sanded the spot where the old bridge had been. Then this afternoon I applied glue to the new bridge and clamped it to the guitar.  I also installed the new tuning keys. I just removed the clamps a little while ago and did some initial sanding. Tomorrow I'll finish sanding and buff up the new bridge. Then the moment of truth will come when I put on a new set of nylon Classical guitar strings. I'm hoping it will be a success.

Just horsing around

 

Tomorrow is National Day of the Horse.  So I posted twice on Blue Sky promoting it (and my t-shirts...which I've sold three of on Zazzle now...well four if you count the one I just bought myself).

So far no likes. And certainly no sales. 

Horse feathers.

My Uncle Dewey

 

Check it out, it's National Dewey Decimal System Day!  And since my first job was shelfing books at a public library, I have a special place in my heart for the Dewey Decimal System. Actually, I think there is a special place in one of the layers of hell for Melvil Dewey, the man behind the Dewey Decimal System. 

I had an uncle named Dewey. It was his first name though. For some reason they called him Charlie though. I think my mom explained it to me at some time but it never quite sank in why. But if my name was Dewey, I would probably prefer being called Charlie, too. But if my name was Melvil, I would probably prefer being called Dewey. Everything is relative. Though I'm no relative to Melvil Dewey.

I had a cousin named Wesley, but we knew him as Tay.  He was called Tay because one of his younger siblings couldn't pronounce Wesley and called him Tay. It stuck. That made as much sense as my Uncle Dewey being called Charlie. 

But boy am I digressing tonight. 

Do you want fries with that manifesto?

 

So I couldn't help but comment on the buzz about the capture of the alleged assassin of the healthcare insurance CEO. First, it is a sad state of affairs when journalists can't come up with a nickname for someone who pulls off a nasty killing and then becomes a media sensation as they try to find him.  He could have been the Dirty Deductible Killer or the Out of Network Assassin.  

They did try and romanticize the guy and suggest that he acted out of passion after losing a loved one who couldn't get coverage for some disease that killed them.  He became an Internet sensation. His photo was everywhere. There was video footage of him killing the insurance CEO. Yet he evaded capture for at least four days. But finally the law caught up with him at a McDonald's in Altoona, PA.

WTF. The guy commits a cold blooded murder like clockwork, slips out of the Big Apple only to be nabbed sitting at a McDonald's browsing his laptop. And he gets narced out by some customer who thinks they recognize him (probably thought he was a boyfriend from the Real Housewives of New Jersey) and tells a McDonald's employee who calls the police. Then the police confront him and finds out he still has the gun on him that he used, the fake ID he used the night before the murder and a four or five-page manifesto stating that he killed the insurance CEO. 

If this had been a movie, the guy would have been in Syria right now switching passports instead of chowing down on a Happy Meal at a McDonald's in Altoona. And it is a 26-year old kid from a well-to-do family. The press keeps saying he "went to an Ivy League College" like that automatically prevents him from being a psychopath. They never specify which Ivy League College. But my son (who spends way more time on the Internet than I do) told me in was the University of Pennsylvania (which I didn't know was considered Ivy League).  I think saying the guy went to an Ivy League School sounds a lot more interesting than saying he went to University of Pennsylvania (which I bet lots of people haven't a clue is Ivey League).

So the stupid kid is going to be remembered forever as the masked gunman who shot and killed a health Insurance CEO in broad deadlight and then got arrested in a McDonald's in Altoona. I hope they nickname him something like "The Big Mac Attacker" or "the McMurderer."

What a waste of a life (in more ways than one).

The Etsy Bitsy Spider

 

I missed posting last night because low and behold after months of selling squat on Etsy I sold the Soviet leader Nesting Dolls that were banned from eBay because they glorified Putin. This was ridiculous because Putin is the smallest of the nesting dolls and was pretty insignificant.  And I find it ironic in a country that at one time prided itself on free thought and speech that eBay would ban a nesting doll because it depicted a current Russian dictator. 

Etsy, on the other hand, didn't have any qualms about it being sold. And I sold it and spent some time navigating the complex Etsy postage interface to actually ship the controversial nesting dolls off to their new owner. I was so flustered, I bought the same mailing label twice and now have to wait 15 days or so for the USPS to process a refund.

But I one a battle with silly eBay policies and redistributed a piece of history. If only I could have the same success winning a battle with the dreaded Teepublic and their draconian terms and conditions. 

For a country that considers itself the land of the free, we have a lot of rules. In a final irony, while I was writing this, I sold a Soviet Order of the Red Star shot glass. 

But the consequences of selling the nesting dolls and packing and shipping them was that I missed posting. And I have really tried to post every day whether I have anything interesting to say or not (surprise, surprise). This is only the second time I missed posting all year.  And I tell you the hue and cry surrounding me not posting for a day was deafening.

Especially the sound of crickets.

What's a Last Supper without butter

 

I found this "The Last Supper" butter dish at Dessert Industries Thrift Store on Friday. The Tiara Indiana Glass "The Last Supper" butter dish and tray is a collectible piece, produced by Indiana Glass Company under its Tiara Exclusives line. Tiara Exclusives specialized in glassware that was sold through home parties in the 1970s and 1980s, much like Tupperware parties. All I could think of when I found it was whether or not they had butter at the Last Supper. 

I also wondered how much I could get from it on eBay. I'm hoping for $18. Considering I only paid $1.50 for it, that would be a pretty good deal.

Jesus. See how low I've sunk.

Looking glass onion

 

I am still working my way through my designs to load on Zazzle. I'm being very sensitive to accusations of violating intellectual property. So I am loading the questionable ones here instead of on Zazzle. I figured glass onion would trigger their intellectual property consultant who objected to my Albert Camoo design. Though I posted this on Teepublic and they didn't seem to have a problem with it. The Beatles don't seem to care so much. I'm assuming they have so much money that losing the $2 to a t-shirt designer isn't a threat.

Still, not using this glass onion design makes me tear up.

Seriously

 

That's the way the cookie grumbles

 

Yes, it is National Cookie Day.   It was a toss up between National Dice Day (no dice), National Sock Day (which sucks) and National Cookie Day. So I made the crummy choice.

I posted it on Blue Sky because I have been super successful selling my stuff there!

Not. But it beats X.

Random crap

 

I bought this at Goodwill yesterday. It was only $1.99. I didn't have a clue what it was. I still don't. Gemini had this to say about it:

It's possible that the metal sphere could be considered a minimalist or Brutalist sculpture.

Brutalist design is characterized by raw, exposed materials, bold geometric forms, and a focus on function over form. The sphere's simple, geometric shape and the use of raw, unfinished metal align with some of the principles of Brutalist design.

However, it's also important to note that this style of design has evolved over time, and contemporary interpretations of Brutalism may incorporate more refined and elegant elements.

Without more information about the specific artist or design movement associated with the sphere, it's difficult to definitively categorize it as Brutalist. It could simply be a modern, minimalist sculpture.

So I put it on eBay as a minimalist or Brutalist sculpture. I'm trying to get at least $20 out of it. Who knows, maybe someone out there is into Brutalist sculpture.