Hey is for horses and other idiotic idioms

 I tried Googling this idiom and got various versions including, "Hay is for horses, and sometimes cows, pigs would eat it if they just knew how." But I'd always remembered it as "Hay is for horses, but pigs won't eat it." I couldn't tell why I remembered it that way. I think I heard it for the first time on some movie and it became forever etched in my gray matter. It is a pity I can't retain useful information as well.

Regardless, it is an annoying thing to say (as are most idioms). They come out of our mouths like an idiomatic tourettes syndrome. When Googling the "hey is for horses" line, I found thread after thread of people fixating on the stupid idioms they learned from their parents. And I cringe because I say some of these things:

See ya, wouldn't want to be ya.

Well...deep subject for such a shallow mind.

Hello...hell's low and heaven's high.

(when someone trips) Have a nice trip, see you next fall.

(when someone asks if I got a haircut) More than one.

I am so ashamed. I don't want to say these things but they are so ingrained into my involuntary speech monitor that I can't seem to reel them in.  I do have to say that I found a few funny ones to add to my arsenal while doing my search:

(when someone says they are going to the bathroom) Mention my name and they'll give you a good seat.

(when someone say they "wish" something would happen) Put your wish in one hand and take a dump in the other and see which one gets filled sooner.

Oh my god. Please don't let me start saying those things, too. Damn you Google!