Not my president

 

Not that it matters what I say or think, but I will never acknowledge that buffoon as my president or leader or anything that comes close to respect. I didn't vote for him. I don't have any respect for anyone who did. So electoral college or not, I don't acknowledge him.  

I remember when he somehow made it into office the first time. My moron brother had this sign in his home office (which was difficult to see because my brother is a major hoarder). The sign read, "I Stand With Our President!" I knew my brother was stupid and more or less right wing, but it was the first time I realized he had voted for the Orange Menace. 

But the "I Stand With Our President!" sign inspired this:

Not that I will do anything with it. Right now everyone seems hunkered down waiting for what is going to happen. And Trump the Rump is giddy, his ego fueled and stoke by his toadies and return to the once again soiled Oval Office. So he is on a rampage, fulfilling all of his egomaniacal fantasizes.

No one really wants to be a target, so selling a t-shirt that says, "Not my president" really has too much "kick me" vibe about it to be a best seller. 

Unlike all of my other designs.

Book 'em Dano

 It isn't actually Dewey Decimal System Day. It's Library Shelfie Day. And I really don't have the energy to create a whole design around shelfing books or taking photos of books or whatever Library Shelfie Day. My first job was shelfing books at a public library. So I know all about shelfing books. I used to have nightmares about shelfing books. It was a mind-numbingly boring job that soured me on books in general. This is sad because I used to love to read. Now I am pretty much content to just look at my phone.

I feel so spineless.

Squirrels and hugs

 

Today is Squirrel Appreciation Day (which has me feeling pretty squirrelly).  So I dug out several of my squirrelly designs. It is also National Hugging Day, so I'll start by saying you should not try to hug a squirrel.

Keep in mind that squirrels are very playful but are not very good at bluffing and they aren't very good losers when they play poker.  So use caution if you play cards with them.

And be patient if you are flying First or Business class with squirrels and watch your nuts carefully. Because they are real nut jobs.

And finally, if you are thinking of hugging anyone or anything for National Hugging Day, ask permission first.

Not everyone likes to be hugged. Me for example, and there will be consequences.

Buy, buy America!

 

The Trump has been inaugurated. It is truly a sad day for our country. I hate that his narcissistic ego has been gorging on the attention. The best thing we could do is ignore the asshole. But he is like a spoiled child doing outrageous things to keep the attention on him.

In addition to the Orange Menace being inaugurated, it is National Cheese Lover's Day.

Cheesy joke, I know. I hope it doesn't grate on your nerves.

Imagine Trump is just a bad dream

 

Today is National Imagination Day. Thus the invisible pink unicorn and my dream that Trump being inaugurated tomorrow is just a bad dream.

But he saved Tik Tok! Lying sack of crap. He was the one who urged that Tik Tok be banned in the first place. It's just propaganda that the asshole really had anything to do with Tik Tok turning on the spigot again for the millions who don't have anything better to do that make or watch Tik Tok videos. 

I only watch it on my commute or when I'm working out. And I discovered YouTube shorts which are just about the same thing anyway. So I could have been fine if Tik Tok went away.

Still I can't believe the Orange Menace is being signed in as president tomorrow on Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  Once again it is all proof that there is no god.

Funny business

 

I am still working my way through the 1500 designs that had been loaded onto Teepublic before they cancelled my account and forced me to reload the designs on Zazzle.  I have worked my way alphabetically through the "O's."  That's where "Our Business is Funny Business" came from. It actually dates back more than 30 years when I worked on Third Avenue in downtown Seattle. A few blocks away was this weird little shop that sold practical jokes and tricks. It was their motto, "Our Business is Funny Business." I went in there a couple of times before they went out of business because the block was being torn down to build a high rise.  I always remember the marquee with the "Our Business is Funny Business" outside the abandoned building before the wrecking ball took it down. 

It was the inspiration for this t-shirt design that no one will buy because no one knows what it means but me.

It's my own private joke.

I yam what I yam

 

Okay, it's Popeye the Sailor Man Day and I'm posting this image for obvious reasons. I can't sell you a t-shirt with the design because this technically is a violation of the Popeye copyright or trademark even though it isn't a sailor. In fact it is a starchy tuber with one eye and a lecherous grin. I imagine he has his starchy tuber eye on Olive Oyl.  Apparently he is unaware that she and Popeye are in a semi-committed relationship though Bluto is after her too.

When you think of it, Popeye isn't a very politically correct name because it makes fun of his physical appearance (which could be a physical deformity, too). And don't get me started about Wimpy, the mooch that is always trying to scam hamburgers out of people. 

Personally I think my starchy tuber version is a healthier role model than the archaic characters from the original Popeye.  He could really give Mr. Potato Head a run for his money.

Keep your eye on the doughnut

 

"Keep your eye on the doughnut and not the hole."

--David Lynch

I was sad to see that David Lynch died today. I always admired his quirkiness and loved his films (even if I didn't always understand them). I remember going to see "Blue Velvet" at the theater and being the only one in the audience laughing.  And I really loved the 1984 version of "Dune" that he directed. I had read all of the books and was blown away by the spectacle of it all. 

For some reason I never got into "Twin Peaks" when it was originally released. I do remember being at parties where some people had to go off into another room and watch it because they didn't want to miss an episode. 

I did like "The Elephant Man." 

I have to confess that half the time I didn't know they were David Lynch films. But I got so I could recognize the style and "weirder than shit" aspect of his stuff. It's like I can recognize a Tim Burton or Quentin Tarantino film. But I think Lynch was a genius compared to them both. Especially Tarantino. I like his films, but he just seems like an asshole.

Not that any of them care what an over the hill blogger and t-shirt designer thinks.  And I suppose Lynch is beyond caring at this point.

Here's to you Mr. Lynch!

Hats off...

 

It's National Hat Day. So I tip my hat to it with a couple of hat designs.

The inspiration for these are the people who used to walk up and down the beaches in Mexico selling stuff ad nauseum while you lay their on your beach towels with tequila and cerveza hangovers. The hat vendors were always my favorite because they would wear multiple hats on their heads like this. 

My hat goes off to them.

Dunce more unto the breach

 

After five years working remotely, I have returned to the office three times a week. Good soldiers do what they are told.

I used to think the phrase was "Once more into the breech." But then again, I also confused it with the Charge of the Light Brigade when it is actually from Shakespeare's Henry V.  "Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; Or close the wall up with our English dead!"

Cheery thought. 

But back to my return to the workplace. It's okay I suppose. I keep reminding myself that I worked almost 50 years going into the workplace before the pandemic and we were forced to be at home. I was 16 when I got my first job. It was before personal computers and there was no other option than going into work.  Oh there was a brief period during the 1980s that I tried telecommuting a few days a week. But it was complicated and required having a Fax modem and proving to your boss that you weren't just staying home. I didn't really like it. I was still young and enjoyed the social life.

At my age there isn't much of a social life anyway. And as we know, I began turning invisible when I turned 40 and I am now practically non-existent. 

Duct, duct, goose

It's National Rubber Ducky Day.  So I took the high road and ignored it with this duct, duct, goose design. 

And this.

I don't suppose either means much to you.

 

Just clucking around

 

I branched out from t-shirts and offered this design as a pair of tube socks. It was a bold move on my part. Let's hope these socks don't suck. 

I also produced a pair with this design.

Whale. Oil. Beef. Hooked.