Fly into the light

 

It's National Aviation Day so I dusted off my Rapture Air design and created not only a t-shirt, but a luggage tag as well.

The whole "Jesus is my pilot" came from a sign this guy used to have on his shopping cart that he pushed around campus forty-some years ago when I went to Boise State University. The guy wasn't a student. He was an old dude. Probably the age I am now. But he must have figured a colleg campus was a good place to save sinners.

I figured it would make an interesting tag line for a religious themed airline. I think I originally tried selling the design before Teepublic kicked me to the curb. I don't think I had got around to posting it on Red Bubble before they kicked me to the curb as well.  Regardless, it is now available on my Printify store.  But I'm not overly optimistic that it will be a big seller. My Printify pop up store hasn't been very successful so far. In fact it hasn't been at all successful. 

I'm not sure my lack of success is due to lack of promotion or just a general non-interest in my designs.  I try promoting them on Blue Sky, Instagram, Facebook and Threads but although I've got a few likes here and there, no buyers. 

Maybe I'm not one of the chosen ones. 

Flipping catalogues

 

It is National Mail Order Catalog Day! And to me it represents the inability of people to let go of things that no longer are relevant in the world. I realize some people still like printed things. Clothing catalogues seem to be the most successful. But I don't think they are sustainable. It is so expensive to print and mail catalogs. Why do it when you market can just go to your catalog on their phone or tablet and it costs you a fraction of the price. Plus you can update it quickly and don't get people wanting things from a catalog that is out of date. And they have to go online anyway to order. 

I created a t-shirt anyway because I enjoy irony. If I'm not going to sell any t-shirts I might as well not sell designs I like. It has been the philosophy of my blog for years. I write what I want and readers be damned. It has always worked for me. Helps me avoid being famous and successful.

I am the most successful unsuccessful writer and designer on the Web and proud of it!

When paths cross

 

It's Black Cat Appreciation Day!  I've owned a couple of black cats in my life and both were sweet friends. Not sure how they got a bad rep. But they crossed my path many times and it didn't seem to change my luck substantially. 

But then again I don't believe in luck...good or bad.

On a totally different topic, I picked up a Zushi at an antique store the other day.  And don't feel bad if you have never heard of a Zushi before. Either had I. I'd seen it in a display case a few weeks ago. A zushi is a small ornate cabinet or shrine used to house sacred objects such as Buddhist statues, scrolls or relics.  I was familiar with a home shrine called a butsudan during my brief stint as a Nichoran Shoshu Buddhist many years ago.  It is a larger cabinet you keep in your home to chant to. A zushi is more of a portable, travel version.

My new zushi has a Bishamonten figure in it. He is sort of the Buddhist god of war (which kind of defeats the underlying principle of Buddhism). He is one of the Four Heavenly Kings and is associated with protection from evil, victory in battle and overcoming obstacles and wealth, prosperity and good fortune.

He's no black cat, but I'm hoping he will bring some magic into my aging life.

I have a creamsicle

 

It is National Creamsicle Day and I dreamt up a bicycle made up of creamsicles.  It's a bit more exciting than the design I dreamt up last year.

I didn't sell any of those either. Apparently although there is a National Creamsicle Day, there isn't a big Creamsicle contingent looking for creamsicle merch.

I try drumming up business by posting on Bluesky, Instagram, Facebook and Threads. I get a few likes but no purchases. Kind of sucks. I was kind of hoping I would be successful on Printify and be able to flip off Teepublic and Redbubble. I do spitefully wish they would both go out of business. The thought of the worms who work on their legal teams trying to get another job after practicing t-shirt law.  appeals to me. I can be pretty vindictive.

Good thing I'm not president of the United States or I would be sending the National Guard into Teepublic and Redbubble headquarters and there would be a passel of ex-lawyers slapping mosquitos in a dirty bunk somewhere in Florida.

Down from the Mountain

 

There was something about this photo taken on Space Mountain at Disneyland that seemed very Biblical to me. I removed the images of the other people in the vehicle (including my wife curled up in a fetal position next to me) to emphasize how much I look like Michelangelo's image of god on the Sistine Chapel.

Of course god isn't wearing bifocals in the painting because he probably didn't have good vision benefits like I do at my place of employment. But then again, I suppose the almighty doesn't really need a good HMO or Medicare. 

After going on all of the rides at Disneyland, I am glad I have good benefits. Between the heat, standing in long lines and being jerked around unmercifully because I insist on sticking my hands in the air on roller coasters to prove how brave I am, I can barely walk.

One more day in the Happiest Place on Earth and I think I would be visiting Jehova.

Yahweh, right.
 

Hard to hold a candle to

You can now buy very expensive candles and frisbees from my Printify store. Although they look pretty cool, I'm not convinced too many people will shell out the big bucks for them.

I think the frisbee retails for about $47 which is a bit pricey for something your dog is just going to chew up and spit all over. The candles are only $33. It's still a bit pricey, but they have a spiritual angle to them. People will pay extra to earn points with god.

At least that is my theory. I am just grateful that my survival does not depend upon selling any of this shit...I mean unique merch that will fulfill most people's shallow and baseless lives.

Dizigns of the times

 

I decided that, after being booted from Teepublic and Redbubble, it was time to break away from the pack. And I decided Dizgraceland Records probably wasn't the best name for a shop that doesn't actually sell records. I was too hung up on Disgraceland Records stealing my domain years ago. Just need to let it go.

So I have a shop on Printify now. And I used my AI friends to create a new logo and masthead.

If nothing else, I have yet a set of new logos. So what if I still haven't sold any shirts.

It's a road we all must follow

 

I saw one of those click bait articles pop up the other day about Kristy McNichol with a headline that read something like, "Kristy McNichol made a rare appearance in an LA park and she was unrecognizable."  She is 63, and if you think she'll look like she did at 18 in 1980 when she starred in "Little Darlings" with Tatum O'Neal and Matt Dillon, then yes, she is unrecognizable. But I challenge anyone to be recognizable in their 60s compared to their teens, or 20s or 30s. 

Time is a major bitch and I marvel at people's fascination with pointing out that celebrities haven't aged well. The only thing that ages well is a good red wine and even it goes bad here and there.

It's a primary reason I'm glad I was never famous. No one cares what I look like now because no one cared what I looked like when I was 18. 

When my kids were little I tried showing them my school photos. All they did was laugh and say I looked funny. That put things in perspective.

Though I always got a kick when I saw photos of my parents as kids. Maybe it was because they didn't have a lot of photos of themselves growing up. But still, I didn't laugh and think they looked funny. I thought they were both very good looking people.

But back to Kristy McNichol, she dropped out of the Hollywood scene in the early 2000s saying she was dealing with bipolar disorder and she wanted privacy.  She came out as a lesbian in 2012 which didn't surprise a great deal of people I'm sure. Not that it should matter or be anyone's business. So why should she have to suffer the indignity of the Paparazzi snapping photos of her at aged 63. I don't think she looked bad. She just looked older. 

Not that I think there are a great deal of people who remember her who aren't in their 60s themselves. So I'm not sure what the hypocrisy of pointing out her aging on the Internet. 

I can only take solace in being an old and unknown man. So I am basically invisibile. 

There is something to be said for that.

Bring out your dead

 

Ozzie Osbourn just died. He was 76 years old. He was followed by Malcom-Jamal Warner, age 54, Chuck Mangione, 84, and Hulk Hogan, 71. It's that old myth about famous people dying in threes. But I suppose four can pass on, at the same time, too. I was particularly sad about Ozzie, although I wasn't really a Black Sabbath fan. I used to watch his reality series and marvel at how unintelligible he was. I thought he was older than 76. 

I wasn't a big Cosby Show fan, but Malcom-Jamal Warner seemed like an okay guy. Sad to drown on vacation. Chuck Mangione was one of those New Age Jazz guys from the 80s. I kind of liked his music. Hulk Hogan was a cartoon character to me. I've never really thought much of professional wrestling. You would have thought he was in pretty good shape, but he died of a heart attack. So you never know.

Regardless, I hope they all find peace in wherever you end up after you die.

Have you never been yellow?

 

I cannot believe I missed National Yellow Pig Day yesterday. So many fake holidays, so little fake time. But apparently Yellow Pig Day has nothing to do with yellow pigs anyway. The yellow pig is the random mascot for the number 17. And why is the number 17 important you ask?

• The number 17 is a premium number in the arena of prime numbers. Add the first four prime numbers together, and 17 is their sum.
• The average school bus weighs 17 tons with passengers inside.
• Each of the following words has 17 letters: interdisciplinary telecommunication misinterpretation commercialization electrophotometer
• The atomic number of chlorine is 17.
• Pebble Beach has a specific road known as the 17 Mile Drive along the Monterey Peninsula in California. However, the exact length of the road is 16.78 miles.
• The 17th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution gave the citizens of the United States the right to elect their senators by popular vote. Before the states ratified the amendment on April 8, 1913, each state's' legislature would elect the senators to Congress.

You can't make this shit up. Well, actually you can. Someone did and got the National Days people to buy into it for some reason. 

I don't feel so bad  now about the random shit I write about.

If at first you suck-ceed, try, try again

 

I can't seem to get my design business off the ground no matter what I do.  But I keep trying. I thought I was doing well on Teepublic.com (sold more than 50 items) and they suspended my account for reasons unknown. I tried badgering them on social media to no avail. So I tried Zazzle. But try as I might no one seemed to buy anything. So I opened up an account on Red Bubble even though they are owned by the same company as Teepublic. I spent a lot of time loading tons of the designs I had posted on Teepublic but I was painfully careful not to post anything that seemed like a copyright or intellectual property violation. 

It seemed to be going okay. Not many sales, but I thought it was picking up. I was happily posting design after design when boom. I got a notice that my account was suspended. Can you say déjà vu? Can you say déjà vu?

I tried filing an appeal, but I'm thinking they have the same legal team that Teepublic had and they pretty much said that you can appeal but don't hold your breath and we won't give you any reasons why and if you ask us, your appeal will go the way of your suspended account.

Not to be deterred, I turned to Printify who allows you to create designs and then post them to your Esty store to sell. So slowly but unsurely, that's what I'm trying now.

I've said this time and time again, but I'm not sure why I bother. It is like my blog. It has been more or less unsuccessful for 21 years and I keep plugging along with it. So what's another 20 years trying to sell t-shirt designs that no one wants? 

I just want people to like me and acknowledge how extremely clever and about as close to a genius as they will ever meet. Is that too much to ask?

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...or chairs.

 

I hate neighborhood sites like Nextdoor.  I have the app, of course, but I rarely open it unless something really important pops up like there is a coyote spotted in the area or questions about whether anyone else heard a big boom at 3:41 a.m. I picture these people in chairs next the window with the shades drawn peeking out, ready to alert their neighbors that there is a suspicious looking car driving down the street.

The concept of neighborhood sites was well meaning. We should get to know the people who live in our communities....that is, until we get to know the people in our communities. 

It is the 4th of July and my town has an annual 4th of July parade. Thousands of people attend this parade because you can't get enough fliers for house painting, window washing, and city council candidates unless you attend.  And to be sure you get a prime spot to sit in the hot sun and watch the parade, you need to put out your camp chairs the night before. But the city posts signs that says you are not allowed to put your chairs out until after 6 p.m. on July 3 or the Public Works department will confiscate them.

Like clockwork, however, people start putting their chairs out at 3 p.m. and sit in them like they are staking out a rock concert until 6 p.m. And I've never seen a public works employee. Some people have been putting chairs out for years and have legacy spots that they consider theirs. I'm surprised there aren't more fights breaking out over chairs.

I took our chairs downtown around 5:40 p.m. and the only way I found a spot for them was this mother took pity on me because I look ancient and I was looking overwhelmed as to where I could set up the three chairs I was carrying. She had put up a line of chairs and a towel on one end taking up what I thought was too much space. She looked at me and said, "We don't really need this space" and pulled up the towel. I thanked her profusely though I wanted to say, "Then why did you put the towel down there?" But I was just happy to put the chairs out and sit there until it was 6 p.m. and the chairs would be sanctioned. Though still, there was no way in hell the Public Works employees were going to give a shit about chairs.

But this morning on Nextdoor some Wendy Whiner started bitching about people ignoring the signs that said no chairs before 6 p.m. TThey said they left at 5:10 p.m. to put up their chairs and most of the spots were gone (apparently they didn't have their pitiful old man act down like me). The irony was that they were obviously trying to get chairs out before 6 p.m. and were pissed that others beat them to it.

I thought about commenting something about it but I started reading the comments and it reminded me why I hate Nextdoor and similar sites so much. Several people pointed out the hypocrisy and several pointed out that, with our country crumbling around us, worrying about ignoring signs about chairs for a 4th of July parade  was pretty petty. Some pointed out that Trump would have put chairs out, too.

I believe he would.

These types of comments sparked the counter comments and assholes squared off about scofflaws and the importance of obeying or not obeying the rules. 

I chose not to join the fray. I think my good neighbors on Nextdoor are pretty much full of shit anyway. And I wasn't really primed to go to the parade and celebrate pretty much the lie that America has become. But I went and watched wave after wave of church groups with banners about how Jesus Loves Us, and one Catholic Church that had a Pope Mobile float go by and hand out stickers. I even snagged some candy that was intended for kids watching the parade, but with my long white beard, I pretty much come across as senile and sometimes people just give me candy and stickers.

I do think that they should have had one of the Jesus church groups just before the end of the parade and had banners that read, "The End is Near." 

Can I hear an, "Amen?"