A General post

 

Now that Copilot has showed me that it is willing to use my image to reenact various characters from film and history, I am like a kid in a candy store. It used to be my trademark on this blog to Photoshop my face on various famous scenes and random objects. I realize that was and is a vain a a bit narcistic thing to do. But it was one of those things I did with this underlying feeling that people would think I was clever and it would make me as famous as the people I was posting my face onto.

Neither was true. 

I have thought a great deal about what it is that has driven me in the past to impress people with how clever or cool I was despite how I appear. I have always harbored this secret desire to be famous. When I was a kid in elementary school I used to watch the Beatles on television and fantasize about being one of them and being chased by hordes of screaming young women.  Or I would watch a movie with heroic scenes of soldiers or cowboys saving the day and wondering what it would like if I was that hero.

Part of it is being an introvert and never really being comfortable with who I am and ironically have attention focused on me. Often when the focus was put on me I resorted to playing the fool and trying to be funny. If I appeared stupid, it was because I was acting (or at least that was my belief).  I was typically being sarcastic and throwing out one-liners and enjoying when people laughed.

Now I realize how annoying that can be and I try and catch myself when I feel compelled to be witty.

But I still enjoy seeing images of myself as things like generals and characters from Wizard of Oz. I posted the Cowardly Lion image on Facebook and I realize that it looks more like Trump than like me. That is sad. 

I like the image above of me as a Union Army General because I think my beard makes me look like I'm from that era. Though I am 30 or so years older than your average Union Army General was during the Civil War. 

Oh well.