Monday, January 31, 2011

Beano for the brain


The problem with mental flatulence is that it can't be attributed to too much fiber in your diet. For my own part, I attribute it to not having enough creative outlets. So every now and then I just hop up manically and start letting loose random ideas with very little merit.

For example (and I feel bad about exploiting the misfortunes of others), it dawned on me that this would be an excellent time for an investor to buy one of the Great Pyramids of Egypt and have it moved stone by stone to some place in the United States, maybe a WalMart parking lot for example. Then whoever bought it could market their company as truly one of the great wonders of the world. If you threw in some camels, you could have all kinds of opportunities for hump day promotions, too.

I have several of these types of ideas on any given day. The problem is, my talents are for coming up with big ideas. But I have very little interest in the practical aspects of implementing them. The big challenge in any great idea is overcoming the petty details and obstacles thrown in their way by operations and logistical people. No matter how loudly I shout, "Give me solutions, not problems," most people ignore me.  Perhaps this because am often shouting this on the bus or train at random strangers who aren't privy to my grand ideas.

I wish I could figure out a way to get recruited by some big think tank where I got paid beaucoup bucks to come up with big ideas. And after I'd passed forth these pearls, I'd leave it up to some other swine to string them together into a necklace. I'd be in hog heaven.

The problem is, someone other than myself would have to recognize me as a creative genius before they would offer me a six-figure job passing brain farts every day. It's the same problem I have getting my blog to go viral and capture the world's attention.

I suppose it is all in how you define genius. Thomas Edison once said that "Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent inspiration." Most of the population, however, seems to think that genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent regurgitation. I prefer to think genius is closely aligned with original thought. And the more original ideas you have, the more of a genius you are.

Notice I said original ideas, not good ones.

Not that I think there is a lot of room for original thought in the world anyway. I've expressed my frustration on more than one occasion about having what I thought was a cool idea only to Google it to find out that about a million other people had the same cool idea. And don't cliche me with "great minds think alike" crap. Mediocre minds think alike.

I'd like to think great minds digress a lot, too.

Anyway, I was thinking of changing the title of my blog to Beano for the brain.  But a quick Google search has shown that several other people have gone down that path, so I'll pass on it.

Besides, I am the only Dizgraceland and I'd hate to see all the brand equity dissipate by trying to freshen it up with a cheap play on words. A man has to have a place to pass on his ideas without someone wanting to beat the dog.

I feel so much better now.

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