Picture me, if you will...

 

I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time experimenting with filters on Snapchat. I don't ever actually send any messages on Snapchat. I don't have a clue how it works. But I do know how to capture photos of my face with odd filter effects. It takes less time than Photoshop.

If you don't know me (which applies to just about everyone), you'd think I like my face. On the contrary, I am appalled by it, especially as it ages. I struggle with selfies to try and hide the double chin and sagging flesh. Filters at least hide some of the flaws.

Ironically, I hate having photos taken of myself. Inevitably, I look huge. And photographs always seem to capture me in the most unflattering poses with my mouth have open. Selfies with filters remedy some of that.

They also help me indulge in role playing fantasies. For example I think I would have made a pretty good cowboy.

Though I don't think I could pull off being a clown.

I find it quite horrifying, actually.

But overall filters makes me smile (in a genuine way, of course).

'Roo the day

G'day Mate! I guess it is Outback week here at Dizgraceland. My Aussie friends seem keen on seeing my face on a bunch of critters from down under. I finally figured out a way to put my face on Skippy. Which reminds me of a joke: A kangeroo hops into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Stop! Stop! I am killing me.

Okay Whitesnake tells me a have to put my face on an echidna. I have never even heard of an echida until now. Turns out it is just a hedgehog with an attitude.

But I kind of like the hedgehog better.

What the hey. As long as I'm at it I might as well put my face on a dingo and cover just about all of the species of animals the Aussies have.

Oh, and if Mickey is still reading this. I am sorry dude. I know you have a thing about dingos.

Bear with me

I'm trying to ease my way back into Photoshopping my face onto random things. This is for my friends down under there in Queensland or Woop Woop or wherever Whitesnake and Madame Butterfly live there in Aussie land (I'm still working on the hedgehog...the spines are a challenge).

I have come to believe Photoshop is the universal software that can make us all one people (or animal object). After all, a picture of yourself Photoshopped on something speaks a thousand words. Plus it becomes a challenge to figure out how to do.

A koala bear wasn't really very hard. I tried a kangaroo first. Now that's a challenge. I do really look good with a pouch.

Whenever I think of kangaroos, I think of this old Australian television series I used to watch in Boise as a kid...Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. I think it was Australia's answer to Lassie, Flipper or Gentle Ben. Skippy was this game warden kid's pet who helped him catch sheep theives and stuff. It had this catchy theme song that went something like, "Skippy, Skippy, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. Skippy, Skippy, Skippy your friend ever true." I swear I'm not making this up.

But I digress. Forgive me, I'm feeling a little jumpy. Ha, ha....

Anyway, an all new episode of LOST has started and I need to find out what random thing they'll be Photoshopping themselves into tonight.