Friday, December 18, 2015

Tis the seasoning...

Even though I was a bit taken aback that Christmas stuff hit the shelf at the stores before Halloween I must admit I have been looking forward toward all of the Christmas traditions we've established. We put up the Elvis tree on Thanksgiving and I had most of the holiday lights up on the house the following weekend.

I even ordered the photo holiday card from Costco early. But I tell you, I'm getting a bit pissy about us sending out about a hundred cards and only getting a handful in return. The unwritten rule is that when you send someone a card they have to send you one in return.

So send us a holiday card or you are off our holiday/Christmas card list. You can kiss your personalized photo of my family either on vacation or with a fake Santa goodbye.

 I mean this is the one time of the year when you touch bases with people you haven't seen in years and wish them your best. But so far this year we've only got a smattering of cards from people like our mortgage broker and the real estate agent who helped us sell our old house five years ago and buy the one we are in.

Some of this I blame on Facebook. People figure they like a photo of your kids with Santa and they can check you off on their list of people they've interacted with for the holidays. I've got news for you. Clicking the like button on Facebook does not constitute a genuine gesture of sincere human interaction. I like photos of puppies pouncing on iPads. It doesn't mean we've bonded.

Oh well. It's not like it matters if someone sends us a card, especially if they include one of those "end of the year" recaps of everything they and their family have done. It's not so much that I don't care what operations you've had, what musical instrument your kid has mastered or where you spent your vacation. Well, actually it is that I don't really care what operations you've had, what musical instrument your kid has mastered or where you spent your vacation. I can get that from Facebook anyway.

I console myself that despite my lack of any real friends outside of cyberspace, I now have a 58-inch high-definition television to keep me company after the kids are in bed. So what that it is an off brand electronic product that may or may not last a year. For now I am in awe at how crisp and clean the programs are and how much in need of more make up it makes the actors look.

I purchased this big bad boy on Black Friday using funds I earned taking online surveys on SurveySavvy over the past year. And believe me I earned that money because they generally don't give you more than two or three bucks for taking a 20-minute survey. I figured I was getting paid about six bucks an hour. But the big TV makes it all worthwhile.

And our tradition of watching the DVD of Polar Express on Christmas Eve will be enhanced by the high def screen that is as big as a train. Plus there is that scale model of  the Polar Express I'm going to set up around the Elvis Tree to surprise my children. I ordered the train before my son informed me that he just didn't get why anyone would want a model train set that simply went round and round in circles. Boy won't he be surprised.

I am the ultimate wired person now. I literally (or virtually) did all of my Christmas shopping online using either Amazon Prime or eBay while sitting in the comfort of my home in my leather easy chair perched in front of my big screen TV.  And despite one fraudulent listing on eBay that is still being resolved by Paypal and another purchase on eBay with free shipping that sent my merchandise on a wild Federal Express ride from Pennsylvania to Wisconsin, passing through North Dakokta to Montana and at last check through Spokane on its way to my home town near Seattle, everything has been hunky dory.

Now I can sit back and enjoy Christmas and start getting ready for Valentines Day.

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