Can you ever really erase anything?

 

Back in March of 2007 I posted about what I thought was my fading memory. Little did I know that 20 years would pass and memories still light the corners of my mind but just not as bright.  I did enjoy creating an Eraserhead version of me then, but get a load of what I would look like now as Eraserhead.

There is a very Kramer from Seinfeld vibe about this Eraserhead me.  And I have to say, even though it is me, I can start to see pretty clearly why I can come across as a bit intimidating.  At the same time, I am kind of digging the image. My hair would never do that, though. Well, not unless I stuck my finger in an electrical socket.  

Not that I was ever a fan of David Lynch's movie Eraserhead.  Most of Lynch's work was a bit too fucking weird for me.  I tried watching it, but I couldn't tell you what it is about. The movie poster is classic though. And this image is one I'd like to send out as a headshot if I ever do any more speaking gigs at conferences.

But to touch on the concept of whether or not you can erase anything...memories for example.  I know enough about memories and how I have dealt with them in the past to know that dwelling on unpleasant ones keeps them alive. I used to have a tendency to repeat bad experiences over and over in my mind. And the mind kind of treats it like you are experiencing it over and over and etches that memory further and further into your brain matter.  In the past few years I've experimented with going to bed listening to music from the Calm app that enhances sleep. It's lots of piano music mixed with rain sounds and frequencies that are supposed to help you sleep. While I drift away I focus on letting go old memories that I don't really want to hold on to.  I think it has worked to a certain extent. 

I wouldn't say it erases the memories as much as pushes them off on unused synapse trails that I hope will eventual become so overgrown with brush that I won't walk on them any more. There are just too many painful memories from my younger life that I'd just as soon remain in the weeds.