Victoria's real secret

 

Back in June 2006 I started flexing my Photoshop muscles (and lifting my skirts) with a post called Victoria's Secret. There wasn't much text because I was convinced people would just be impressed with my newly honed photo altering skills and the humor of me as Queen Victoria. I was also pretty sure I could get traffic from teenaged boys searching for photos of underwear models. It never occured to me then (or now for that matter) why I wanted to increase my blog traffic with hits from teen pervs looking for porn. I don't think it worked then and I don't think it will work now.

But I was curious how ChatGPT would respond to me request for an image of me as a Victorian era monarch with a crown (because if I just asked for an image of me as Queen Victoria, it's internal censors would have likely kicked in and said it couldn't create images altering real celebrities).  Here was it's first response.

Now granted, this is a pretty bitchin' cool image of me as a monarch, but I'm trying to recreate my earlier crude Photoshop experiments to demonstrate how far we have come (and how little progress I've made in how I spend my spare time).  So I thanked ChatGPT because I treat AI apps with the same dignity and respect I show any service people (with hopes that I'll get good service and they won't spit in my food). Then I asked for an image of me as Victorian Monarch Queen.

Now that is more like it. I do think the pearls were a tasteful touch but I would kind of like the crown to be a bit more dainty, but at the same time that would probably make my head look even bigger than it already is.  But in the original 2006 post I also created an image of me as Annie Oakley from the Wild West Show era.

So I went back to ChatGPT (who fortunately doesn't seem to get overly judgey about my requests) and asked for an image of me as an Annie Oakley-esque character complete with cowgirl hat and boots. It responded immediately:

I thought ChatGPT did an admirable job of capturing the spirit of my experiment, but I do think it made my calves look a bit too thick.  And the way the skirt drapes makes my butt look a little too big. Because in real life I don't have a big butt. I don't have much of a butt at all. But all and all, it is a very tasteful depiction of a Wild West Show character who knows how to sport a cartridge belt. I do think the lace sleeves are too much. Maybe more fringe. I didn't want to push my luck with ChatGPT.

Now all of this greatly amuses me, but similar to 2006, I don't have a widely recognizable face. In fact, I went in for a haircut a couple of days ago and the person who cuts my hair (and has for about a year now) walked right by me as she was coming to work and didn't acknowledge or recognize me. I imagine if I had been dressed like Queen Victoria or Annie Oakley people might pay more attention to me.

If only people knew how funny I was, they'd remember me. 

Or not.