Friday, August 19, 2005

The Baby Phat


Phat is an adjective to describe approval in Hip Hop culture. Hence, someone or something that is phat could be cool, rich, entertaining, intelligent, fly or otherwise to be admired. The term derives from Black English Vernacular (Ebonics) as a deliberate misspelling of the word fat. Fake etymologies for "phat" state that the word originated as an acronym for "Pretty Hot And Tempting", "Plenty of Hips And Thighs" or "Pussy, Hips And Tits".
--Wikipedia
I was given the opportunity to receive one of these Baby Phat pink diamond studded phones via my e-mail today. And pretty hot and tempting as that offer might be, I'm going to pass. I just don't picture myself as the "Baby Phat" phone type.

Which brings me to my point regarding spam. Real marketing people understand the concept of target audiences and demographics. A little bit of research and perhaps the spammers could have found a fly audience for the Phat Phone. Personally, I find it frightening that such an audience exists. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

I just wish there was a way to find the person or persons responsible for each and every spam e-mail and lock them in the room with an endless loop playing at a very loud volume of Donnie and Marie Osmond singing, "I'm a little bit country." Oh and it would be an endless loop of the Phat dance hip hop version, too.

I'm sick of you telling me I'm qualified for a 2 percent interest mortgage. I'm sick of you trying to tell me I need Viagra and I'm sick of you trying to give me millions of dollars from the Nigerian lottery. I don't need a "genuine" college diploma. I don't want to become a certified minister in Billings, Montana and comfort my family in prison. And I'll be damned if I need to buy underwear for my cats wholesale. I'll continue to buy their underwear retail, thank you very much.

Why do you have to ruin the Internet with your endless scams and shoddy promotions? And now you are slowly figuring out we block you from our e-mail accounts and now you are oozing your slimey way into our blogs.

Enough all ready. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. From now on, I'm going to send really bad thoughts your way.

So there.

11 comments:

Lights in the wake said...

My email icon indicates that I have 377 unread emails. I never check my email. Everyone I know is aware that I don't check my email so they never send me any. This means that every bit of that email is unsolicited and unwanted crap to which I never reply. And yet I still average over 12 junk emails every day.

Tim ID said...

If you never check your e-mail, then it's a good thing you've started your blog so you don't miss out on those spam messages.

You aren't interested in the Baby Phat phone, are you? I could forward you the e-mail.

R. said...

Tim-Elvis,

Enough people respond to spam to make it worth the cost.

What's annoying about blogs (as opposed to newsgroups or mailing lists) is that your filtering capability is limited to whatever the blog host provides. You can't killfile or whitelist to reduce the noise.

Might I suggest the Mozilla Thunderbird email client? It has a fairly functional filter.

R.

teri said...

Just when you think you can get away from commercials... up pops spam. There's ads on everything...I'm looking around me..it's all over...Isn't there something in this world that doesn't have an ad on it?

Tim ID said...

R.
Then we need a "just say no to spam" campaign.

Teri,

I suppose since I work in marketing, I'm guilty of putting advertising everywhere, too. But I like to think the stuff I create is entertaining more than irratating like spam.

teri said...

I do see your point. One of my first stories had a comment that was spam. Here I have my emotions out in the open and someone rubbed crap all over it. It's not right.

I also wanted to thank you for linking me. That was very nice of you. Thanks.

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still asleep said...

Just enough weirdness and irony in this entry to make me genuinely laugh. And hey I really like my baby phat phone, thankyouverymuch... you know you want one too.

Anonymous said...
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Tim ID said...

Teri,

It is an honor to link to your blog. You write with a rare honesty that others should share in.

Still Asleep,

Thanks for visiting. You have a baby phat phone? Of course I want one. What's it like to carry around a pink phone with diamond trim?