Friday, August 19, 2005

The Baby Phat

Phat is an adjective to describe approval in Hip Hop culture. Hence, someone or something that is phat could be cool, rich, entertaining, intelligent, fly or otherwise to be admired. The term derives from Black English Vernacular (Ebonics) as a deliberate misspelling of the word fat. Fake etymologies for "phat" state that the word originated as an acronym for "Pretty Hot And Tempting", "Plenty of Hips And Thighs" or "Pussy, Hips And Tits".
I was given the opportunity to receive one of these Baby Phat pink diamond studded phones via my e-mail today. And pretty hot and tempting as that offer might be, I'm going to pass. I just don't picture myself as the "Baby Phat" phone type.

Which brings me to my point regarding spam. Real marketing people understand the concept of target audiences and demographics. A little bit of research and perhaps the spammers could have found a fly audience for the Phat Phone. Personally, I find it frightening that such an audience exists. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

I just wish there was a way to find the person or persons responsible for each and every spam e-mail and lock them in the room with an endless loop playing at a very loud volume of Donnie and Marie Osmond singing, "I'm a little bit country." Oh and it would be an endless loop of the Phat dance hip hop version, too.

I'm sick of you telling me I'm qualified for a 2 percent interest mortgage. I'm sick of you trying to tell me I need Viagra and I'm sick of you trying to give me millions of dollars from the Nigerian lottery. I don't need a "genuine" college diploma. I don't want to become a certified minister in Billings, Montana and comfort my family in prison. And I'll be damned if I need to buy underwear for my cats wholesale. I'll continue to buy their underwear retail, thank you very much.

Why do you have to ruin the Internet with your endless scams and shoddy promotions? And now you are slowly figuring out we block you from our e-mail accounts and now you are oozing your slimey way into our blogs.

Enough all ready. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. From now on, I'm going to send really bad thoughts your way.

So there.
Post a Comment