Monday, August 08, 2005

Goodtime Tim-Elvis has got the blog blues

Blogging is a bizarre pasttime. To date I've created about 165 posts ranging from short stories, rants, photography, philosophy and firsthand commentary on the drama of my middle aged life. And while I've tried to remain true to myself and post things I want without trying to cater to an audience (real or imagined), I am human. I have to admit there is a certain euphoria inherent in having people actually read what you've written and tell you they like it. And so consciously or subconsciously I catch myself wanting to slap up stuff that I think will get me positive reinforcement.

And then I feel so dirty. Because if I go down that path, I'm not creating, I'm pandering. So then I might as well be doing this as part of my job.

It's not that I ever really envisioned myself being a commercial success. Oh, I'd sell the movie rights to my work in a second if someone offered me a lucrative deal that involved vulgar amounts of cash and an opportunity to moon my employers. I'm not stupid, after all and everyone has a price.

I just want you all to know that I do read other people's blogs, so I'm not as self-absorbed as I may seem. I find it awkward, though to comment much on other people's blogs. Because commentors seem to fall into one of these categories: gushers (people who heap praises on every entry even it is a steaming pile of wombat's crap), whack jobs (anonymous commentors who spew random steaming piles of wombat crap), lonely hearts (people too cheap to pay for Internet dating sites and think a blog is an invitation to mate), stalkers (they often begin as gushers or lonely hearts and become progressively more scary), read me's (people who comment on your blog only to get you to read their blogs) and the chosen few ( genuinely interesting people who appreciate intelligent interaction).

There is just something daunting about wading through a list of comments made by gushers and lonely hearts on a blog and then trying to think of a comment that doesn't make you sound like one of them. So often, I become what is known on the Web as a lurker. A lurker is someone who frequents a blog, news group or chat room and just reads what other people say.

Since my own blog posts don't attract very many comments except from my own chosen few (thanks Lights, Shandi and R), I can only hope that I have hundreds of lurkers reading my stuff on a regular basis and keeping their thoughts to themselves. Or they are afraid I am a whack job and don't want to comment for fear of turning me into a stalker (because god knows I will find you).

But, if you read my blog on a regular basis and don't comment, I want you to know I appreciate you anyway.

Okay, I'm glad I got that off my chest.


Anonymous said...

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Time said...

Thanks, I forgot to mention the lowest form of commentor: the spammer. May all of your favorite body parts fall off.

Anonymous said...

And all this time I've been trying to gush.

I pretty much assume you're a whack job. That's why I cleverly tricked you into believing I am Stephen King. (Though, of course, I'm probably not).

In any case, you do good work, and I'd keep reading even without the clever banter.

Anonymous said...

Tried to post a comment on the story you wrote but it won't let me. Says it doesn't allow annonymous posts. I get the same thing on the Monkey Playing Cymbals blog all the time.

Anyway, good story. Very descriptive.

Time said...


At least you aren't a stalker. And yes, I am pretty much a whack job (and don't think I didn't notice you said that you were probably not Stephen King.

Glad you liked the story. It is the last of the archives. Now I'll have to get to work on the Killer Bunny and Pan piece.

I'll check on why you can't comment on the monkey playing cymbals blog. He'll blame me now for not getting any comments.

Anonymous said...

So normally when posting comments I'm given three choices:Blogger, Other, and Anonymous. Monkey playing cymbals blog only has Blogger available and says that the site does not allow anonymous posts. I always figured that he couldn't take the heat but maybe it's just a glich.
I'm glad you're "hopping down the bunny trail", so to speak, but I didn't actually expect you to do it so won't be disappointed if you decide against it.
Oh, and the "probably" part was all part of the clever plan.

Time said...

The Monkey told me he thinks he fixed the problem and "bring it on King." He mumbled something about the short story you wrote that led to the bad movie he starred in back in 1984. I think it was "The Devil's Gift." But that's between you and him.

Anonymous said...

So... you are a blog whore after all huh??? Pandering were you??? Yeah... so do I.
Although lately, ehhhh I've posted a few things that I never thought I would post. Deep dark secret stuff. At this point, I don't care if I get comments anymore as long as my favorite blog readers keep coming back.
And... Tim... to be honest.... I will keep reading your blog. Not because you read mine... for only one reason... because I find it entertaining.
But... I dare ya!!! Post something that you think YOU and ONLY YOU will appreciate. See what happens.

Naughti Biscotti said...

by the way... that anonymous comment was from Shandi.... not anonymous. I don't know why my name didn't register.

Anonymous said...

I've spoken with the Monkey playing cymbals. It didn't go well. And to think, you have to sit all day at work in the same room with him. Always watching, waiting for his chance. It must be nerve wracking.
Anyway, I have attempted to speak to him reasonably as one primate to another. But I don't have much confidence he will understand the Cujo story. (Cujo, $7.95. Available on amazon or your local retailer. Why not buy two? They make great gifts). Oh well, I can only try. Thanks for fixing the posting glitch. I've been wanting to talk to the little fiend for a long time.

Time said...


I kind of put two and two together and figured you were the second anonymous comment (unless you have also become a spammer). I actually prefer the term "Blog unpaid escort" to "Blog Whore." But I do appreciate that you are one of my unconditional readers. Blanche Dubois and I have always depended upon the kindness of strangers.

And I applaud your courage for breaking new ground with your blog. Now as for your dare, well, I pretty much though all of the posts about chopping wood were cutting edge stuff only I would care about. But I'll see what I do.


Glad you and the Monkey connected. Maybe it will get him off my back for awhile (ha, ha...I crack me up).

He has read Cujo. He did point out that even Stephen King (aka Lights in the Wake) admitted in an interview that he has no recollection of even writing the book. But nice try with your marketing ploy to get rid of the backlog of your books at Amazon (a Seattle-based company BTW that is headquartered next door to my building).

I paid no attention to your experiment, but I am curious.

Time said...

Well, it's about time you started a blog. Blogger can be a bit cumbersome at first. It helps to know a little HTML, but it isn't crucial.

The monkey told me to tell you he's looking forward to commenting once you're up and running.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Any more posts like this and I'll have to get out my blogroll and stick you on my sidebar. That'll teach you.

Time said...

Craig, Anything but that. I'd have to get a Pink, diamond studded Baby Phat phone to deal with traffic.