Sunday, April 15, 2007

Flying the friendly skies

I can't really say I enjoy flying. But I can tell you if you have to fly, flying First Class takes away some of the pain. The biggest problem with flying First Class is having eventually to go back to flying coach.

It's that way with life, however. Once you've stayed in a suite, flown First Class, tasted a really great (expensive) wine, been in a limousine, dined in a great restaurant and had great seats at a sporting event, returning to reality sucks.

This is not to say you should condemn yourself to coach so you don't know what you are missing, but flying First Class will make flying coach even suckier than it really is.

I love it when they announce early boarding and you get to leisurely saunter down the ramp to the plane without having to worry about fighting someone for space in the overhead bins. I love it when you sit down in an airline seat that is more like a leather recliner than a bench with a TV tray. I love it when the flight attendants ask you what you want to drink before you take off. I love being offered a warm cloth before they serve the meal. And I love eating off real plates, drinking out of real glasses and wiping my mouth on a cloth napkin. I also love getting free headphones to watch the inflight movie that you can actually see because there is a video monitor right above your FIRST CLASS seat. Oh, and I love not having to fork over $5 every time I want a glass of wine (which is never empty in First Class). You also get your own bathroom that none of the riffraff back in coach is supposed to use.

Did I mention your luggage is also tagged so it is the first to be unloaded?

Oh yeah, you also get to use the airline's VIP lounges when you have a layover. I'm talking free booze and all the peanuts you can stuff in your pockets. And the restrooms aren't full of stranded passengers bathing in the sinks and towelling off with paper towels.


But I am still a humble, simple man.


Steve said...

Yeah Right!
Peoples front of Tim-Id!
Or was that Tim-Id peoples front?
Or the popular front?
Or the front of Tim-Id?

either way ya still a splitter!

LMAO!..........mate.....nice one

BlazngScarlet said...

Try flying first-class on a trans-atlantic flight!

Talk about feeling spoiled!

Lights in the wake said...

I recently flew "economy plus" on Ted (a part of United). Five extra inches for 44 extra dollars. It was worth it. Ted doesn't have first class.

Time said...

And you are first class.

I can only aspire to that one. My dream is to have one of those seats that convert to a sleeper.

I can't believe an airline called Ted wouldn't have first class. That doesn't make any sense.

Lights in the wake said...

Ted doesn't believe in artificial class distinctions.

It's funny, everything they said seemed to be in the third person.

Ted hopes you enjoy your flight.

Ted wants to remind you to turn off your electronic devices.

Ted is representing the estate of a diamond mine owner in Nigeria who has died without heir. Ted wants you to provide Ted with your savings account number for which Ted will cut you in for a hefty profit.

You know, things like that.

Naughti Biscotti said...

Who is this Ted??? I'm still hung up on those extra five inches. Five inches??? Seriously??? For $44 dollars??? Now that's a deal!!!

R. said...

You may not be able to see the plebes behind the curtain but you can still taste their stink in the air.

Time said...

Lights, Tim doesn't like Ted.

Do the math. Zero plus five inches equals five inches.

But still there is a curtain.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh....First Class. I spent a year dating a girl whose grandmother had worked for an airline. That translated into my girlfriend being able to purchase tickets at 25% of fare and automatically receive first class upgrades.

Believe me, we took full advantage! Of course, while accomodations were very nice, since I don't drink the free alcohol wasn't much of an appeal. My girfriend on the other hand - who certainly enjoyed orangejuice and champagne - spent a few hours dancing on the tray tables.

As it turned out, the coach passengers were enraged that, yet again, those in first class got a special show they were denied.

Harmony said...

Tell me though, if the plane happened to crash, would only the "cattle in steerage" die or would all things be equal in that situation.

And.....if there was a terrorist on board I think they would probably pick on first class passengers before the mere mortals.

Gotta admit though, the thought of free wine would definitely dull any kind of pain.....*giggle*

I apologise for the morbid humour.