Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Why won't you buy my crap on Ebay?

You know, with all the crap I've bought on Ebay, I find it frustrating that people aren't jumping at the chance to buy my crap. Okay, that's not entirely true. I sold my 1953 copy of Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys right out of the chute. But now my 5 x 7 autographed black-and-white photo of Christopher Lee is just sitting there waiting for a bid. Were talking a major star here and he's being dissed by the Ebay community.

Come on people, this is my bid (no pun intended) for freedom here. I'm tired of working. It has just led to accumulating crap...much of it from Ebay. Now, I figure if I can unload that crap on other workers, I can quit my day job and watch satellite television (once it has been restored after the tree service screwed it up) all day and rake in the dough (money for those not versed in American idioms and slang).

I mean, I've got tons of this odd accumulation of garbage that for some reason I figured would be worth something someday. When I was 19, I bought two boxes of Star Wars trading cards and hung onto them thinking they'd be worth something someday. Log on to Ebay and see how many of the stinking things are out there.

I've got a World War II tank periscope (don't ask). Someone is already selling one on Ebay.

I've got an autographed copy of a TV Guide featuring Robert Blake as Baretta. I figured this was money in the bank if he ever pulled an OJ and drove around in a White Ford Bronco. But no, he just sits there in jail not making himself anything but pitiful and I'm stuck with his worthless autograph.

I won't even go into all of the worthless Elvis junk I've accumulated. And then there are the troll dolls...I've even got a two-headed one.

Want deco cocktail shakers? I've got about ten. How about restaurant ware? Tons of it.

Ever hankered to own a coyote skull? I've got four.

You see, I'm tired of collecting things. So please, got to Ebay and buy. I'm about to put my swizzle stick collection up for sale and you definitely don't want to miss that.

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