Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Half baked fears


Our television is full of demonic icons conjured up by ad executives to prey upon our fears in order to sell products. Pop N' Fresh, the Pillsbury Dough Boy for instance. What is he other than a terrorist with a chef's hat. There he is with his pasty face, blackhole eyes and bloated body, leering at you while you try and open an explosive pipebomb of biscuit dough. What's not to be afraid of?

Or take the "Jolly" Green Giant and his little imp "Sprout." Isn't he just the flesh eating ogre from the Jack and the Beanstock story? And Mr. Clean is a defrocked genie who dresses like an orderly in a mental hospital, spraying disinfectant on everything. Perhaps he is in league with the Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs bird.

The list goes on. There's the sinister leprechaun taunting you from a cereal box, "Orange moons, yellow stars, they're all after me luck charms..." Can we say, "WITCHCRAFT!" I'm sure he hangs around with his buddies Snap, Crackle and Pop or the Keebler elves casting spells.

The Geico Gecko slithers around talking in a Cockney accent like a slimy Artful Dodger from Dickens. He might as well be tempting us with an apple. Can we say, "THE DEVIL!"

I'm here to say, "RESIST!" Get TIVO. Fast forward through the spew that is speaking in tongues through your plasma screen before it's too late.

Do it before midnight tonight...my god what am I saying...argggggggggggggg....
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