Friday, May 09, 2008

Butt, who nose

I am well aware that many of my posts tend to be on the negative side. But let's face it, negative stuff is much more funny than the positive stuff as long as it doesn't get too mean spirited. Okay, sometimes even the mean spirited stuff is funny, too.

Other than calling Gary Busey a whack job and occasional jabs at George W. , I try to confine my insults to categories of people and things and not personalize it too much. And I try to balance things out a bit by beating up myself.

But enough apologizing. I get sick of apologizing for potentially offending someone. Perhaps it is a side effect from living in Seattle. This land of political correctness has so many special interest groups that you can't swing a dead cat without offending someone. Now I've probably offended PETA, cat owners, vetrinarians, and swing dancers.

Jesus Christ on a crutch. Now I've offended Christians and people with disabilities. Sometimes I think if I haven't offended someone, I'm doing something wrong.

Obviously I struggle a bit with this issue. Because part of me has always wanted to be liked. But you can't always be liked, especially when you point peoples foibles. Fortunately nine times out of ten, most people with foibles don't know what the word means.

Insults just come naturally to me. Ironically, more often than not, I insult people I like. It's kind of my way of letting people know I like them without actually revealing I do.

Wow, that sounds pretty messed up. And I called Gary Busey a whack job. Maybe it's my dogs who have treed the invisible raccoon in the wrong tree.

But, who knows?


Lights in the wake said...

Well, it's just that you're a guy. Guys tend to hurl the best insults at their friends. It's like a game.

Doesn't work so well on women tho.

So while it's perfectly acceptable to call your guy friend Ass face, for example, you probably want to avoid the same expresion with your wife, girlfriend or mother.

Of course the opposite is true also. It is usually acceptable to refer to your female friend as honey, sweetie or pumpkin but...

I think you can see where I'm going with this. But maybe not, Dumb ass.

Time said...

I think you make a good point shithead. I would add that it is also not acceptable to refer to your male friends as sweet thang,honey buns or eye candy (except in certain circles).

Thanks for the clarification though, dog breath. :)

JP/deb said...


We are far too P.C. and it is killing brain cells. Witty and well-crafted insults are the stuff of intellects and great literature. Fear not and cast all apologies aside! JP/deb

p.s. had a bad person trolling my site and am now blogging at

Time said...

As usual, JP, you are eloquent and gracious. Thank you!

Sorry about the Troll. If you need help insulting them, please let me know. Also, I'd like to update your link on my site, but only if you say it's okay.

Karen said...

You know I have noticed that you have been particularly edgy, crabby and a bit of a grumpy old man since you hit 50 Tim.

Does that mean I only have 2 more years of good humour left in me :)