Who is steering the boat?

 

I started the day with some great designs with horned-helmet Vikings (which is something no Viking actually wore) finding themselves in a herd of Texas longhorns. And for whatever reason I decided it would be funny to have them say something like "What is this bull shit?" but translate it into something close to Old Norse. Apparently Icelander is the closest language to Old Norse in the present time. So I found an English to Icelander translator and translated "What is this bull shit?" into Icelander and put it on the image of three Vikings surrounded by longhorns.

I thought it was hilarious. But for whatever reason, teepublic.com flagged the design for review to see if it violated their standards. I reviewed their community standards and the only thing I can think of for them flagging the design was that it wasn't written in English and they thought I was writing something obscene or hateful against Vikings (people who washed their faces in piss and killed and raped people for fun).

It kind of put me in a mood. So I started coming up with really esoteric designs like this:

The only way this will mean something to most people is if they know that in one of the first movie roles Tony Curtis had he played a knight with a limited speaking part. He was supposed to say something like "Yonder is the castle of my father" in a British accent. But Tony Curtis was from the Bronx and he read his line in a heavy Bronx accent and it came out "Yonder is the castile of my fodder."

Funny if you know the back story and give a shit.

Later I thought of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom and Marlin Perkins. I am not sure why I thought of Marlin Perkins. I don't normally give much thought to Marlin Perkins.  He was the host of Wild Kingdom from 1963 to 1988. Well he was the host until he died in 1986. I remember the show because it always came on on Sunday evenings before Disney's Wonderful World of Color. I thought it was kind of boring and Marlin Perkins seemed like a fossil and obviously read all of his lines from a script in a very stilted and lifeless fashion. 

And since the show was sponsored by Mutual of Omaha, an insurance company, Marlin was always saying things like, "Just like the mother Anaconda eats her babies' predators, Mutual of Omaha is there to protect you." And he was always talking about his co-host Jim Fowler who seemed to enjoy wrestling wildlife a bit too much.

So I came up with this design:

And even though the insurance company that sponsored the show was Mutual of Omaha, I slipped in the "good hands of Allstate" into the moon because I thought it was symbolic that Jim was about to be killed by a Croc and would soon be in good hands in the Wild Kingdom of  Heaven.

Again this design depends upon a pretty complicated backstory but still it is pretty funny to me.

I created several others including this one because every time I hear the word "Yacht" I think "Piñata."

It has no deeper meaning than that other than I thought it would be fitting for a man dressed like a pirate to be trying to bring down the Pinyacht-a with a cutlass.

And just to take a final swing at inspirational things I created this spoof on Ted Lasso:

There's a ton of Trump jokes in that one.