Saturday, June 10, 2006


I have a co-worker who is afraid of clowns. When my desk was next to hers, I used to paste clown faces on sticks and line the top of my cubicle with the clowns facing her.

I think people should face their fears.

I am going to have to come right out and say this. I pretty much have to put clowns in the same category as mimes...annoying. I have never found them funny, even as a child. I don't like balloon animals. I don't think I am alone.

This is not to say I don't acknowledge other's rights to like clowns (Hayden). I don't understand it, but I accept it as long as it doesn't involve me being in the same room as a clown.

Seattle has it's own uniquely annoying form of the clown--a Seafair Pirate. Every summer, Seattle celebrates Seafair. It is basically an annual hydroplane race ( basically NASCAR on water). For some reason this opens the door for a bunch of middle aged guys to ride around on a flatbed truck dressed as pirates wearing clown makeup. They say argggh alot and acost women with wooden swords (shades of Freud). Every time I see them on the streets of Seattle, I automatically raise my middle finger in salute.

But I digress.

If you haven't figured it out by now, coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. And more people fear them than you might imagine. William Gacy, the freaky mass murderer in Chicago was a clown at kid's parties. That is pretty scary.

The giant clown outside Circus Circus in Reno and Las Vegas is (are) pretty scary. George W. Bush is pretty scary. Tim Curry playing the scary clown in Stephen King's IT was pretty scary (especially because he still looked like his Frankenfurter character from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Come to think of it, clowns are pretty scary ass things.

So are mimes.

I don't much like jugglers either.


Hayden said...

challenge accepted! my excessively serious response has been posted in a most un-clownlike way, complete w/ linkback. and ahhh- tim? I do juggle.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but pirates are not clowns. You're just being cranky now. If you want to rant about JP Patches or Rusty Nails (Portland's answer to JP), you have my blessing. But the Seafair Pirates? What's next? Ivar's dancing clams?

You've crossed a line, Tim. Take it back.

Time said...

Kristy, perhaps you are right. The Seafair pirates may not be clowns. They are probably just drunken, obnoxious buffoons.

I kind of like the dancing clams.

Alex Pendragon said...

I may not hate clowns per see', but I am annoyed at any percieved obligation to laugh at them just because they look like homeless defrocked priests with issues. I think it is perfectly understandable why many infants and toddlers recoil in utter terror when faced with such outlandish apparitions. There is one species of clown I really do dispise, tho, and that's the kind that doesn't bother with the make-up before reporting to work in the oval office......

Time said...

THE Michael, a "homeless defrocked priest with issues." You certainly have been poetic lately.

morningstar said...

i'm with Michael on this one... i can not tolerate the clown who doesn't wear makeup and shows up .. not in THE oval office..but in THE office at school.........

Tim did you ever wonder why there is a song called 'send in the clowns' they sure as hell don't make me laugh.......

morningstar (being serious for a change)

Time said...

Yes, clowns should be required to where the uniform so we have a bit of warning that they are clowns before they start squirting people with seltzer bottles.

BTW the song, "Send in the Clowns" is a Stephen Sondheim number from "A Little Night Music." The title refers to the circus or Vaudville custom to send in the clowns to distract the audience after an unforseen disaster or a really bad act.

Time said...

Cherish, That's okay. Not everyone feels strongly one way or the other about clowns.