Monday, May 15, 2006
Deep thoughts (or not so pretty in pink)
It's about this time of year that they start playing that song targeted toward high school kid's graduating where a middle aged guy just speaks advice set to music. That advice eventually comes down to always wear sunscreen.
First, I don't like songs that are spoken instead of sang. Second, there has to be more to life to pass on to people graduating from high school than always wear sunscreen (which is good advice, but nothing I'd climb a mountain to find out from a guru).
My advice to young men graduating from high school: Never wear a pink tuxedo.
I don't speak from experience. I've never worn a pink tuxedo. That kind of common sense came naturally to me growing up in Boise. But apparently it isn't common sense in Washington state.
This isn't another one of my random thoughts. Tess and I took her mother out for dinner on Saturday night for Mother's Day. It was also prom night and the restaurant was packed with high school kids in formal wear. I was about to bite into my salad when a kid walks by wearing a powder pink tuxedo with bright pink vest and tie. The first thing that came out of my mouth was, "That's just wrong." Tess tried to tell me it is the fashion to wear a tuxedo that matches your date's dress (and yes his date was a girl).
Here is where my advice to that boy and other poor schmucks like him comes in, "Just say no." Some day that miserable little pimple farm is going to look back at photos of himself wearing a pink tuxedo and realize that was where his life took an awful twist for the worse.
The reason you should never wear a pink tuxedo and especially one that matches your prom date's dress is that no one, not even the girl you wore the hideous tux for, will ever respect you. You may think it makes you a sensitive guy and that it proves to your date that you are willing to do anything to go out with her. And you may think to yourself you are really only doing it to get lucky after the prom. But trust me, there is no way you are making it to home plate wearing a pink tuxedo. You aren't even going to be a bat boy that night. You are making someone at the tux rental place very happy, though.
Again, this is just common sense. I never wore a pink tuxedo. I never even went to prom.
But I do have my dignity intact.
And I wear sunscreen.