Thursday, May 25, 2006

Free us from torpid heaviness


I followed Shandi's lead and clicked on Blogger's "Next Blog" button at the top of the page. The first thing that struck me while randomly skimming through the flotsam of the blogosphere was that poetry is a dangerous tool when placed in the hands of the masses. Though to be honest, I'm not a big poetry fan even if it is written by people with talent.

The title of this post comes from a blog dedicated to the author's spiritual poetry. I will not link to the site. I will not make fun of the author because I am sure he means well and is simply expressing himself. But I will say that "torpid heaviness" is not a phrase I have encountered before. Nor is it a phrase I would consider using in a poem, especially about spirituality. It is a lugubrious term best used in a Russian novel to describe the mating of sloths (i.e. Their torpid heaviness collided in a slow motion passionate embrace seeped with woeful longing of sloths kept apart far too long by an oppresive regime).

I say this in an attempt to be kind to people who write with a thesaurus in hand searching for just the right word to impress. Please put that mutant puppy of a reference book in a bag and toss it off the nearest bridge. Don't use words that you either don't know or don't use on a reasonably regular basis. Don't get me wrong. It is okay to increase your vocabulary. But just put words in your basket that you understand and really can use.

And if you must write either spiritual prose or poetry, please do not use a lot of "thee's" and "thou's" because you think that is the way the people wrtten about in the Bible spoke. The King Jame's version of the Bible was translated using the venacular of King Jame's time (I believe in the 1400s or thereabouts). They used lots of "thee's" and "thou's." I assure you Jesus did not. He didn't speak English. So if you really want to write Christian spiritual poetry (and I don't recommend it), you might want to talk to Mel Gibson and find out how to speak some of the dead Arabic languages.

And if you are wondering what the photo of a doll with my face on it has to do with any of this, the answer is, "nothing." I just wanted to freak out any newbie surfing into my blog using the "Next Blog" button. That will teach them.

10 comments:

shandi said...

I just hit next blog while looking at your blog and I found: http://jesushasforsaken.us/ "Jesus (has forsaken.us) Pancakes". A blog written by Jesus Christ. This guy has been blogging since 2001.

I tell ya... it's a crazy world out there. I'm going to try to find at least one noteworthy blog each week and compliment the blogger on his/her efforts.

Mickey said...

Hmmm...spiritual poetry.

Eucharist
by Mickey

Would you, could you
Eat Christ with wine

Would you, could you
Consume the divine

Would you try him on a cross
Even if there was no sauce

Would you try him in a tomb
This messiah from virgin womb

Try him, Tim and you will see
There is no morsel like JC

Tim ID said...

Shandi, you are a better person than I am. I get to the point where I want to rip my eyes out of the sockets after umpteen blogs about dentist visits, American Idol and George Bush. I'm thinking it is easier to just click on the blogroll lists on blogs I like rather than relying on chance.

And I'll have to check out the JC site. I thought Mickey had cornered the blog market on him already. :)

Tim ID said...

Speak of the Mickey and he appears. It's a miracle! Nice spiritual poetry. But you left out the thee's and thou's.

kristy said...

That doll's hair has a certain torpid heaviness that makes it an appropriate illustration for this entry. You should be so lucky.

Tim ID said...

Kristy, I would expect a lugubrious response. However, that is my own hair.

The Michael said...

Damn! I'm 0 for 2 already. I used to write prose on the fly using thee's and thou's with reckless abandon. And Dubya? Guilty as charged. And I assure you I will continue to hound that lobotomized good old boy till the day he writes his memoirs, and THEN I'm gonna trash IT! Well, at least it is painfully obvious that I haven't been relying on a thesaurus in my posts, so I guess I'm redeemable. I have to say, though, when it comes to Christ prose, Mickey just made me grin from ear to ear.....hehe.

Thou art thee thou twich' I refer to
when thou art thee glimmer in mine eye
and shouldest thou thee me in a mornings mist
maybe thou should lay off the rye

Damn I'm good.......

Tim ID said...

THEE Michael,
Thou art what thou art. Just be surest to blogest from the gaol whenst the homelander security brethern comest hence and covet thouest ass.

littleone said...

i have often pondered long and weary about the bloggers who hit next blog and land up reading mine.... or the poor dear soul who was "googling" grandma's corset and landed up on my blog about .. well just about something entirely different........

sometimes it is not safe out there in blog land...... like mom always taught you.. don't talk to strangers.... and there are SOME strange ones out there..

morningstar - counting herself amongst the strange ones..

Tim ID said...

Morningstar, Not all strangers are strange and not all strange people are strangers. But I consider you neither a stranger or strange. You are unique, however.