Thursday, July 20, 2006

In blogs they never hear you scream (well, almost never)

I scream,
You scream,
We all scream,
For ice cream.
--Billy Moll
I've written about screaming before. But to most people, blogs are like rivers. You generally jump into them at midpoint, and it takes too much effort to swim upstream to see where they've been. So trust me that screaming is not a new topic for me.

Many things make me scream inside these days. David Hasslehoff as a judge on a mindnumbing Amercian Idol ripoff called America's Got Talent is one of them. Under no circumstances would I ever associate David Hasslehoff with talent and having him judge other people's talent is a travesty. His fellow judges Brandy and some British twit who thinks he is Simon aren't much better. But then again neither is the "talent" America is supposed to have: Dave the Horn Guy, Bobbie Badfingers (a self-proclaimed "snappist") and Leonid the Magnificent (whose only talent seemed to be cross dressing and weeping).

The best talents were the child prodigies like 11-year old Taylor Ware, a self-taught yodeler who is in the finals and Natasha Le, an 8-year old classical pianist who finished just outside of the finals. Sadly I'm afraid Natasha was one of those poor stage kids driven by her mother to practice piano three hours a day. She will likely need therapy after having the British twit judge harangue her for making mistakes in her performance. She's 8-years old asshole. What talent do you have?

Other than bad television, the things making me scream inside are the usual things: diet, exercise and the "It's Groundhogs Day" quality of my job. Oh, the sideshow freaks that shop at my local Safeway have been good for internal screaming as well.

Other than that, life is pretty good.
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