Thursday, September 14, 2006

Da blog, da blog


They say no man is an island, but I disagree. Dizgraceland is my island. I created it. I spread the sand and pumped in the saltwater. I built the beach bungalows and I stacked up the lounge chairs next to the lagoon like pool (complete with water slide and bar service). I am also the ghost of poor Herve Villechaize running along the dock screaming, "Da Plane, Da Plane," when a seaplane (I created) lands bringing visitors.

And I am Ricardo Montalban sitting on my chair (covered with Corinthian leather) waiting to greet the guests as they arrive and ushering them off to bungalows to await whatever plot the scriptwriter (also me) has devised for them. It is nice having an island.

The only thing I can't control here on my island is the visitors. I don't pick them. I don't coerce them into coming and I don't force them to stay. Some other force picks them. Or they pick themselves. So Dizgraceland is not a totally self-contained island.

It is actually not a new idea for a fiction writer to fantasize that their story lines are alive. I think there was a Twilight Zone episode in which characters kept starting down a storyline only to have it abruptly end and start over with a slightly different twist. In the end they were all just type on pieces of paper a writer was wadding up and tossing into the trash to start over.

Now that paper is replaced by a delete key on your laptop. Or in the blogger.com world, your storylines aren't so much deleted as lost due to a programming error.

I just thought of something terrible. If my blog is like Fantasy Island, and I created it, that would make me Aaron Spelling. That would mean I will be creating other crap like Charlie's Angels, Dallas, Dynasty, Melrose Place and 90210.

I must be stopped.

10 comments:

The Michael said...

So, old Aaron possesed you, huh? I knew that old codger wasn't just gonna lay down and die, no, not with all those ideas for more aweful series to create. Relax, Tim, soon you are going to be filthy rich, after you start typing up screen plays and sending them off to the right people, probably during inexplicable blackout periods you will soon begin having. And soon we'll be haunted by such new shows as "Bruce, Designer at Large" and "Fantasy Island meets Survivor". Or, you could kill yourself now and spare us all. Oh, I know, call Stephen King, he might know a way out.........hehe.

Tim ID said...

THE Michael, Funny you should say that. i've been outlining this screenplay that is kind of like Bewitched, but it is set on a goat farm in Florida with former Navy man turned rock star who marries a witch. Farfetched I know, but I think it will sell.

Miss Bliss said...

Well, unless you plan on channeling Mr. Spelling, it's highly improbable that you will repeat his legacy since he has joined another creator in the sky (i.e. Gene Roddenberry). Your idea for the newest screenplay is good, really, but if I know Hollywood, they won't buy it unless of course, no goats are harmed in the making of the movie. I think your project will take off, but just to ensure you do make SOME money, I suggest Brad Pitt play the "Navy man turned rock star" and Angelina Jolie play the Wiccan lovely. You know, not that your movie will need them or anything....

The Michael said...

Brad Pitt? omg this is so rich........

angelina, now......hmmmmm

Hayden said...

I thought all stories were examples of possession - characters running wild and lighting firecracker fuses to explode sedate plans.........

stories can't be trusted. characters MUST BE SUPPRESSED!!!!!!

Tim ID said...

Miss Bliss,
Thanks for the suggestion, but I don't think Brad Pitt is right for the role. I'm thinking maybe Steve Corell or Gilbert Godfrey.

THE Michael, Dream on.

Hayden, I have no response to that, but I respect your right to say it.

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

The only thing left to say is: you look mighty fine in a white suit.

signed,

One happy island-dweller, JP

Tim ID said...

JanePoe,
Blush, you think so? Maybe I should do a Saturday Night Fever thing next and revive disco.

Nawww...disco sucked the first time around and even if I'd kept my Angel Flight suit, I'd never fit into it now.

Oh and you are always welcome at Dizgraceland Island.

shandi said...

i loved how on Fantasy Island, the fantasies never turned out the way the guest wanted them, but rather the way they needed them. It was that sick twisted reality of the fantasy that intriqued me.

Some of the guests would get hostile toward Ricardo because the fantasy didnt go the way they planned. I always thought... "Damn, Ricardo create another island and don't invite anyone."

Tim ID said...

Shandi,
Yes Fantasy Island was a moral lesson in "you can't always get what you want, but you get what you need." I always thought it was just another version of Love Boat that didn't move. It was also a great place for washed up actors to find work.