Sunday, March 26, 2006

Ode to a Leaf Blower that Sucks

MY driveway is covered with seed pods and muck,
My senses, are bound in a mindless funk,
Good thing I have a leaf blower that will suck,
And an extra long extension cord or I'd be sunk:

’Tis all because of my neighbor's tree,
And it's constant dropping of this organic mess,—
That thou, light-winged leaf blower will suck right up,
In some mad and endless cleaning spree
Of sucking and raking, such mindlessness,
And with all of the noise, my neighbors will wonder whazzup.

O, with suction great you sweep the ground,
A flurry of seed pods fly in with some dirt,
All the while making a terrible sound,
Filling the bag, so I must be alert!
O if that tree next door would stop dumping this crap,
I would love to cut it down with a saw or an axe,
Then I'd be inside relaxing not out in the yard,
Sucking up seed pods like some big, dumb sap;
Whoops I sucked up a rock, I shouldn't be so lax,
Oh well, at least it's some exercise, I could get rid of some lard:

Ah, the seed pods are gone, I can stop pitching a fit,
For I have what men with simple leaf blowers never have known,
A leaf blower that sucks really helps quite a bit,
And all I have to do is empty a bag with a groan;
But the wind keeps blowing, so who really cares,
And the seed pods will keep coming until that tree finally dies;
Although I am done for now, I'm still full of sorrow
It's an endless task that feeds my despairs,
When I look here in the morning, I won't believe my eyes,
Because I know the damned seed pods will all be back to-morrow.

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