Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Thornewood Fairies Project: Earth Angel



OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT OF SOUND AND IMAGE RECORDINGS FOUND ON DIGITAL CAMERA ON THE GROUNDS OF THORNEWOOD CASTLE, MARCH 2006

8:09 a.m.


Thank god it's morning. I was awake all night listening to running water coming from somewhere outside and I had this tremendous urge to get up and go. But there was no way I was going to get up in this haunted castle and relieve myself in the dark with some ghost watching.

That sound…I must go to bathroom.

8:10 a.m.
Wow, ...that's weird, I don't remember this urinal being here, whatever...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….(sound of water)

8:11 a.m.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….(sound of water)

8:12 a.m.
That's better...whoops...hey, wait a minute. This isn't a urinal. It's a sink. Oh well. A drain is a drain.

8:17 a.m.
While Tess is still sleeping. I'm going to go out and check out the garden. I’m heading down the hallway now.



8:18 a.m.
Oh god, another orb and some stupid arrows pointing at them. How yesterday…yawn.


8:19 a.m.
Okay, I'm opening the door and going outside. Cool, I love these big knockers.



8:20 a.m.


Damned fountain. Now I have to go to the bathroom again. Hmmm...no one is around. A fountain is essentially an outdoor urinal isn't it? What the heck... Ahhhhhhhhh......

8:21 a.m.
Whoops, the lions are watching. Hey, lion, hey...don't cause an upROAR…you look stoned, anyway! Ha, ha, ha…



8:22 a.m.
I’m approaching the secret garden now. The legend tells us that this garden was built on the site of an ancient fairy mound. Fairy mounds are places where fairies live. Considering the satin pillows we found stacked on the love seat in our room last night, I think a few of the fairies live in the house, too…I crack me up.


8:23 a.m.
Oh my god…what is that? Is it a fairy? Naww..it’s just a statue. I believe it is a statue of a fairy archer, though. I’ll take a picture of it. Hey dude, you look stoned, too! Smile so I can take your picture! Ha, ha, ha, ha....


8:25 a.m.


Hey, check out the chick standing in the cement pond. She’s holding a Grecian urn. Hey momma, whazzzup? What’s a Grecian Urn around here? Minimum Wage? Ha, ha, ha, …somebody stop me.

8:27 a.m.


Gross, that cherub is picking his nose. Hey dude…what are you doing? Digging for clams? What’s with the plastic owl strapped to you? Ahh, you don’t give a hoot, do you? Ha, ha, ha, ha….

8:29 a.m.




Whoa…check out the angel. Hey, Sweet Thang, it must have hurt…you know when you fell to earth from heaven.

8:30 a.m.


Hey, don't turn your back on me, baby. I'm winging it here, but you must be an angel. And is it hot out here or is it just you?

8:32 a.m.


Wait a minute…what gives? Are those fairy lights?

8:33 a.m.


Holy mother of god, what is happening here…

8:34 a.m.


Help……what are you doing…no, no...argghhh....

THE NARRATIVE ENDS HERE BUT THERE WAS ONE LAST PHOTO

16 comments:

littleone said...

from big knockers to fallen angels.. honestly Tim Elvis.. what is one to do with you????!!!

and i honestly thought i had the market cornered on fairies and fairy dust ..... sigh..

and incorrigible fits very well thank you........

morningstar

The Michael said...

Narrative? Where? Honey, come here....you see any narrative in here? Ohhhh....you're right......that must be the......naw......that's just aweful! The pictures were GREAT! The "narrative", well............

Please, no more jokes!

Lights in the wake said...

That was funny. Very funny. And the poor fellow was correct. They did look stoned. Especially that last one with the knit cap. That one's wasted.

Tim ID said...

Morningstar, I appreciate your incorrigment.

the michael, one need only to compare the narrative to The Blair Witch Project and you would discover I did indeed put more into the plot than they did (and I thought it read pretty well for the 20 minutes or so I invested in it).

Ahh, my friend Lights, you see the ultimate symbolism in the piece. I thought it creatively employed negative space to embody the full angst of modern myth versus ancient mythology. I like to think of it as Lounge Lizard meets Lord of the Rings.

Lights in the wake said...

Um...Yeah! That's what I meant. I just didn't want to come right out and say it.

Tim ID said...

Loosely translated, that means it was a crock of crapola.

But for the record, no Photoshop or steroids were used on the photos...well except for maybe two of them.

cherish said...

AWESOME Post!!! That castle is absolutely beautiful!! Do you really think it is haunted? I love all the statues. I wonder how many of them started out as real people? I hope the fairies will let you out of the statue soon although you make quite a handsome cupid statue!!!

Tim ID said...

As usual, thank you Cherish. I do think the castle and the garden had a distinct atmosphere and energy. It did have a lasting impression on me (these wings are kind of cool).

darlingina said...

i wondered if i was gonna smile or laugh today Tim. Now thanks to You, i've done both. Just what i needed. Great photos and a very creative post indeed. And i kinda like the looks of Eminem King with wings! How can that be? ;o)
Hugs,
~gina~

Tim ID said...

Glad it made you smile Gina. I kind of like my Eminem cherub look, too. But do you think the wings make my butt look big? :) P.S. I like the new photo!

Lights in the wake said...

It's not the wings that make you butt look big.

Very nice re-invention of yourself there Sir Tim. Does this mean you are abandoning the Tim-Elvis personna permanently? If so I think a eulogy is in order.

Tim ID said...

Lights, my prophetic friend. You are always one step ahead of me. I'm impressed.

shandi said...

I never got around to telling you that I absolutely loved the photos.

kristy said...

Ghosts. Family trees. Seattle. Pierce County. You have all my favorite things! I gotta come back and read more--thanks!

Tim ID said...

Shandi,

I never feel as though I have quite done the right thing until you comment. Thanks.

Tim ID said...

Kristi,

Well, how can you go wrong with a castle in Pierce County. Hope you stop by again.