Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Thornewood Fairies Project: Earth Angel



OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT OF SOUND AND IMAGE RECORDINGS FOUND ON DIGITAL CAMERA ON THE GROUNDS OF THORNEWOOD CASTLE, MARCH 2006

8:09 a.m.


Thank god it's morning. I was awake all night listening to running water coming from somewhere outside and I had this tremendous urge to get up and go. But there was no way I was going to get up in this haunted castle and relieve myself in the dark with some ghost watching.

That sound…I must go to bathroom.

8:10 a.m.
Wow, ...that's weird, I don't remember this urinal being here, whatever...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….(sound of water)

8:11 a.m.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….(sound of water)

8:12 a.m.
That's better...whoops...hey, wait a minute. This isn't a urinal. It's a sink. Oh well. A drain is a drain.

8:17 a.m.
While Tess is still sleeping. I'm going to go out and check out the garden. I’m heading down the hallway now.



8:18 a.m.
Oh god, another orb and some stupid arrows pointing at them. How yesterday…yawn.


8:19 a.m.
Okay, I'm opening the door and going outside. Cool, I love these big knockers.



8:20 a.m.


Damned fountain. Now I have to go to the bathroom again. Hmmm...no one is around. A fountain is essentially an outdoor urinal isn't it? What the heck... Ahhhhhhhhh......

8:21 a.m.
Whoops, the lions are watching. Hey, lion, hey...don't cause an upROAR…you look stoned, anyway! Ha, ha, ha…



8:22 a.m.
I’m approaching the secret garden now. The legend tells us that this garden was built on the site of an ancient fairy mound. Fairy mounds are places where fairies live. Considering the satin pillows we found stacked on the love seat in our room last night, I think a few of the fairies live in the house, too…I crack me up.


8:23 a.m.
Oh my god…what is that? Is it a fairy? Naww..it’s just a statue. I believe it is a statue of a fairy archer, though. I’ll take a picture of it. Hey dude, you look stoned, too! Smile so I can take your picture! Ha, ha, ha, ha....


8:25 a.m.


Hey, check out the chick standing in the cement pond. She’s holding a Grecian urn. Hey momma, whazzzup? What’s a Grecian Urn around here? Minimum Wage? Ha, ha, ha, …somebody stop me.

8:27 a.m.


Gross, that cherub is picking his nose. Hey dude…what are you doing? Digging for clams? What’s with the plastic owl strapped to you? Ahh, you don’t give a hoot, do you? Ha, ha, ha, ha….

8:29 a.m.




Whoa…check out the angel. Hey, Sweet Thang, it must have hurt…you know when you fell to earth from heaven.

8:30 a.m.


Hey, don't turn your back on me, baby. I'm winging it here, but you must be an angel. And is it hot out here or is it just you?

8:32 a.m.


Wait a minute…what gives? Are those fairy lights?

8:33 a.m.


Holy mother of god, what is happening here…

8:34 a.m.


Help……what are you doing…no, no...argghhh....

THE NARRATIVE ENDS HERE BUT THERE WAS ONE LAST PHOTO

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