Sunday, March 26, 2006

Want to see something really scary?


Did you ever have a frightening dream that was so elaborate, bizarre and scripted tighter than a Hollywood horror flick and then wake up and ask yourself, "Where the hell did that come from?"
Obviously, I have. And I will be the first one to admit that I watch too much television and Netflicks. But it is not like my dreams seem to incorporate any of the fiction I watch on television (though I did have one particularly bizarre dream about Dog the Bounty Hunter that I don't want to talk about).

I have never really been frightened of traditional, Hollywood monsters. I respect Boris Karloff and Bela Lagose (Frankenstein's monster and Dracula) but I have seen scarier people on the bus on a daily basis.

What really frightens me are the things you can't see. The creatures in the dark that jump out at you. It was those things in a dark closet or under the bed that terrified me the most as a kid. So to me, the most frightening dreams I have are of hiding, knowing something is looking for me and I never know when it is going to jump out at me.

So where does this fear come from? Now I went through enough therapy to know that the Freudians amongst us would claim there is very likely something in my subconscious that is the real boogeyman waiting to jump out and yell, "Boo." And I've watched enough of Penn and Teller's Bullshit (their program name, not my opinion of them) to acknowledge that it could just be a chemical reaction in my brain to the Brussel sprouts I had for dinner.

If the truth were told, I'm more apt to believe that my nightmares come not from being frightened by a stuffed bunny as a child or from undigested vegetables. And I don't think they are spawned by the late night creature feature either. I think the real culpret is....

....the evening news.
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