Friday, April 21, 2006

Fighting words

I had a long discussion this morning with a co-worker about e-mail and how it is right up there with the telephone as a form of communication spawned in hell. I just think that e-mail has created this weapon of mass destruction for passive aggressive people to wreck havoc on the world.

Part of the problem is that it's human nature to try and get the last word. E-mail provides a forum where two stubborn people will die at their keyboard typing back responses in an effort to fire the last shot in an e-mail version of Battleship. Even if you write, "You Win," some people will type back one more e-mail saying "I know." This of course requires you to respond, "No you don't" and the whole thing starts up again.

E-mail, with all of its faults, is better than instant messaging, text messaging or chat rooms. I will go on record yet again that I despise the shorthand language that is evolving from these evil channelers of the devil. I was watching a program last night where a couple of teenagers were "texting" each other (I hate that they have made a verb out of it) with phrases like "I h8 my voiC" and "wen cnI Cu?" There is even an online translator for creating this cancer on the English language called Lingo2Word.

Well, I tnk txt msgN sux. To prove it, I translated a little Shakespeare for you:

2 B, or nt 2 B:
dats D Q:
Whether 'tis nobler n D mnd 2 suffA D slings n arrows of outrageous fortuN,
Or 2 taK arms against a sea of troubLs, n by opposing Nd em?
2 di: 2 zzz

That's just wrong (dats jst rong).

Language is an art. This lingo crap is graffiti.

Ironically, even the word blog came from this doublespeak: Web log. And even more ironic is that I know that many of the people who comment on this blog are going to torture me with the shorthand text lingo. But I will comfort myself in the knowledge that, As D ruler of dis blog, Ill alw av D lst wrd.
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