Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Your inner cheese

I typed "I love cheese" into Google and ended up at www.ilovecheese.com. That had a cheese profiler to determine your cheese personality.

I Love Cheese!, Cheese Lovers, Cheese Profiler

No matter how I answered, this was my profile:
"The Family (Wo)Man
You are very family oriented and spend most of your time caring for loved ones. Whether it’s volleyball practice, playgroup or a family picnic, it seems you and your family are always on the go. Your favorite meals are quick, satisfying to the whole family and often include casseroles, lasagnas and pre-prepared dishes. When it comes to cheese, you tend to favor processed varieties, such as American cheese, that are easily incorporated into family fare.

If breakfast needs to be portable, stuff a warm tortilla with a thin omelet made with Colby cheese. When afternoon hunger pangs strike, American or Cheddar cheese slices sandwiched between apple wedges make a great midday snack. And when it’s your turn to be soccer mom or dad, bring the team bite-sized snacks-on-a-stick prepared by alternating pieces of fruit, such as grapes and pineapple chunks, with cubes of Cheddar, Swiss or Havarti."
I think something is terribly wrong. I said I preferred rock climbing in the Himilayas over Disneyland as the perfect vacation. I said I where creative, yet cutting edge clothing and live in a trendy neighborhood. How could I be a family (wo) man?

They also have something called the "snackulator" to determine your perfect cheese snack. Apparently I'm a cheddar and Keebler crackers kind of guy.

Oh well. I don't think the dairy path was for me after all. It made me me kind of phlegmy. Maybe it would have been different if I could have put my face on a round of Gouda or perhaps a nice Edam. I really think it is too early in the season for Stilton. I just don't know. All of this is just a bit too cheezy for me. It doesn't make a shred of sense no matter how I slice it.

I'm disillusioned with cheese anyway. I think it has alienated me from my blogger friends. No one seems to care about the endless types of cheese there seem to be. I guess the cheese really does stand alone.

Sigh.

6 comments:

Mickey said...

If it is any consolation to you I did the snackulator thing and the result screamed queer so loudly that I refuse to even hint at what my apparent repressed homoness digs eating.

Tim ID said...

Mickey, please tell me it wasn't a baked brie or a triple cream cambozola. I mean, not that there is anything wrong with that.

Mickey said...

Good God Man! I have my dignity! Actually I was given a choice between cheddar and tomato jam canapés and blue cheese with either Keebler Harvest Bakery Multigrain crackers or Keebler sesame toasted crackers.

By the way, this is totally unrelated but I was cleaning out my closet and came across some old clothing and was just wondering do you think these squire tights make my ass look fat?

Tim ID said...

It is sad that they think that royalty such as us would eat any cheese associated with the name Keebler.

And no, good Squire. The tights are actually quite flattering. You remind me of our quest. King Tim Id the most fair and flatulent has neglected his people.

kristy said...

I've always thought of you as a Velveeta Elvis sort.

Tim ID said...

Very good one Kristy! I think Velveeta Elvis is a brilliant idea. Though I do prefer the Velveeta Elvis Light.