Saturday, January 28, 2006

The beast in me...or who let the dogs out?

That ain't cheap tactics honey. That's just the beast in me"
--Elvis Presley, Jailhouse Rock

"You ain't nuthin' but a Hounddog."
--Elvis Presley, Hounddog
They say every dog has his day. And on sunday it will be the beginning of the Chinese Zodiac's Year of the Dog. I was born in the Year of the Dog. That would make this my year. And here is what they say about us Dogs:

"People born n the Year of the Dog possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people's confidence because they know how to keep secrets. But Dog People are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth, yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues.Dog people make good leaders. They are compatible with those born in the Years of the Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit."

I would highlight the "and eccentric" comment.

I find it ironic that I was born in the year of the dog. I consider myself more of a cat person. Not that I don't like dogs. The photo at the top of this blog is the first dog I can remember. His name was Lucky. He was shown here as a puppy with my father before I was born. He was full grown by the time I was born.

The first thing he did when mom brought me home from the hospital was bite me. The photo above shows my brother Dan trying to get Lucky to bite me again while my other brother Ted holds me. Lucky ended up going away to live on a farm by the time I was a toddler (at least that is where my mother said he ended up).

I still like dogs. This is a photo of me with my dog Shep. He and I grew up together. Both of us managed to avoid being sent to a farm to live (though my mother threatened this quite this day when I hear Clint Eastwood's "Do you feel Lucky" line I break out in a sweat).

I love animals in general (not in the Biblical let's just cut that little rumor off right here). But I will always be partial towards cats. Cats just have this nasty quality you have to respect. When a cat is pissed at you they know exactly what to do to express it. My ol' orange tabby Cuervo, god rest his soul, expressed himself by spraying. Once he backed up to my Elvis shrine while I was sitting in the recliner watching television and let the King have it. Another time he peed in my VCR. These are not random acts, my friends.

But I digress.

I find the whole Chinese Zodiac versus the other Zodiac kind of confusing. In one I'm a dog and in the other I'm a fish. Not that I'm dissing on either Zodiac. I would just like some clarity on how I'm supposed to act based upon when I was born.

Oh don't give me that free will crap. Do you think I would mow my lawn if free will existed? I think not.

Okay, I'm just yanking your chain. I studied astrology for a few years back in the "New Age" phase. A good astrologer would not emphasize a chart as constraining a person as much as telling them what their options are. For example a dog can either hunt or lie on the porch sleeping. I'm telling you, this dog don't hunt. He is a pointer. He likes to sit in a chair with his feet up and point at life going by on the television.

Don't you just love having thousands of years of astrological knowledge boiled down to "this dog don't hunt?" I can't help it. I'm a simple man born in the Year of the Dog when the sun and the moon were in Pisces. You can't flea from the truth.

Get :(

Happy Dog Year, anyway.
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