Monday, January 16, 2006

Light my fire

Tess and I stayed at the Eagles Landing Hotel in Rochester, Washington on Saturday night. The Eagles Landing Hotel is located adjacent to the Luck Eagle Casino in Rochester, Washington. This is the primary reason I did not write any new blog entries this weekend.

And why did we stay at the the Eagles Landing Hotel in Rochester, Washington, you ask? Because it was there. We were in Olympia helping Tess' mother move into a new apartment and Rochester is just a few miles south.

Now before you go all judemental on me for staying at a hotel near a casino out in the boonies, I want to point out that I have discovered you can stay in some pretty nice hotel rooms at a decent rate at casino hotels in the boonies. We stayed in a suite for about the price you'd pay for a standard room at a Holiday Inn and I can tell you it was a pretty sweet suite. That is a photo of the fireplace in the room at the top of this entry.

What I hadn't counted on when I booked the hotel was that the Chippendale's were playing that night at the casino showroom. Okay here is a math formula for you: Small town + Chippendales divided by many women fixated on 80s fashions with very big hair = surreal experience.

Apparently many of these women had come to show and make a night of it. First they got all hopped up on sugar at the buffet, strolled through the casino, got the adrenalain flowing at the nickel slots and then knocked back a few Bud lites at the show. Mix that with all of the steroid induced beefcake they were exposed to and it was getting pretty ugly in that casino after the show. Rochester, Washington was just not ready for all of that excitement.

I made the mistake of passing through the casino after the show on my way to the gift shop to buy a cork screw for the bottle of wine we had back in the room (the gift shop clerk told me she had never actually seen anyone buy one before, just to give you an idea of the average clientele there). I was standing there waiting for the clerk to put the plastic souvenier cork screw in a bag when the show let out. I've survived Seattle's WTO riots, earthquakes and grunge, but I saw my life pass before my eyes when the all-female audience burst out of the showroom with lust-glazed eyes and slack jaws. One would have thought I wouldn't be able to make it back to Tess and the suite, but I was able to fight my way through the hungry crowds with the cork screw. I had to do some quick talking to explain all of the dollar bills sticking out of my jeans, however.

Just for the record, Tess declined my offer to buy her a ticket to see the Chippendales. She said something about not buying the beef when she could get the bull for free from me. But even though we didn't go to the show, we did encounter three of the Chippendales down in the continental breakfast room the next day scarfing down waffles and danishes. I tried to get Tess to go over and offer them a dollar bill to show their stuff, but she declined.

Regardless, Tess did stick Mr. Lucky Eagle for a hundred bucks on a nickel slot, so all and all, I'd chock the stay there as a success.


Alex Pendragon said...

Tim, this was an excellent documentary till you got to the "fought your way thru the crowd of ramped-up females with a corkscrew", where the tale turned hard left into fiction! Shame on you for trying to segway THAT into the story! hehe Good try, buddy!

Time said...

Hey, it could have happened. I had the corkscrew if I needed it.

Time said...

Thanks Cherish,
It was a fun weekend. Good thing I had all of those dollar bills to make up for the money I dropped in the machines.

darlingina said...

Do sound like a great weekend Tim. And a nice looking fireplace too btw. i love going to casinos and more than gambling, i love to people watch. Sound like You and tess had a great time with much to see and do. And you'll be reminded of it every time you use that corkscrew!

Time said...

Thanks Gina. That corkscrew saved my life :)