Thursday, January 19, 2006

Nuthin but blue skys


Sometimes I catch myself being a tad negative. Occasionally it turns up in my writing. I know I can be, hmmm...how should I phrase this....acerbic, caustic, mordant or just downright nasty. I used to think it was part of my charm. Then it dawned on me that perhaps that is why many people, including my own family, think I am an asshole.

Not that being an asshole is totally wrong. At least it is not totally wrong if you know you are being an asshole. The current president of the United States is oblivious to the fact. Of course, if I was to split hairs, I'd say he is more of a dumbass than an asshole.

Odd that we have various distinctions when it comes to such things. You can be an asshole, a dumbass, a smartass or just a plain old ass. You can also simply act asinine which I suppose is different than being a "real" asshole.

We also have various collogquial sayings such as, "That boy doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground," or "he couldn't find his ass with two hands." And let's not forget the standard, "you can kiss my ass."

But I digress.

I try to be positive. But let's face it. How interesting is positive? When was the last time you saw a positive standup comedian? What's funny about optimism? Not that I would compare myself to a standup comedian. I spend most of my day sitting.

Damn, I'm digressing again.

Let's see, where was I. Oh...being positive. Okay. Every day and every way, I'm getting better and better. I'm also getting older and older and taking lots of pills to stem the aging process. Wait...stop...positive. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me. Actually very few people like me. Tess does, but there is that wedding vow thing. My cat Bailey likes me. But she gets free food and I'm the one who empties the litter box....POSITIVE...let's see, a Neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender say, "No charge." No, that's not positive either and I think I resolved not to tell any more "walks into a bar jokes."

I'm going to just sit here until I think of something positive to say.
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